How often do we hide our emotions, or attempt to do
so, with a smile or with pushing emotions to the back and trying to portray a
calm or happiness that we do not feel, right from our bones? But, do we really put on a great facade or
does it show in posture, in physical appearance, in dullness of eyes, in our
voice? I believe we attempt to ease
chaos, worry, stress, for short periods of time, to get relief. We have to know was disassociation is and how
dangerous, psychologically, it can be.
There is a difference between consciously choosing to numb ourselves and
when the numbing happens unbidden.
Sometimes your psyche just needs a reprieve and will
detach, I think. Each of us handles stress
in different ways. Physical distress is
harder to take a break from. Neuropathy
is one of the scourges of aging for some.
Nerve pain of any kind can send you into hyper-conscious awareness that
is focused on where the pain is. I have
tried self-talk to my feet on up to my thighs to try to talk it in to giving
in. Doesn’t work and it is hard to
escape from that painful fact. I have
learned how to stop scrolling webs of thoughts that are negative or rooted in
one of the many fears one can have, the worries, the shame, the guilt, of
things so far back in the past one would wonder why there is such sharp focus
on those things. I break out of that
unwanted space of jangling thoughts by doing something Present. Emotionally, I find, as I age, it is harder
to break out of ‘a mood’. While once, a
bad hair day could set the day off on the wrong foot, now it can be something
even more self-focused like dropping something, tripping, a day where one ought
to go back to bed and try again. It is
part of our culture, I think, to be spiritually dissociative. We tend, I think, to get focused on day to
day life and solving all the little piling-up things in my day. I try to take breaks to do something that
fills my soul, find me a space and time to check into something on a spiritual
level. I think spirituality is like a
muscle that needs to be exercised. I am
sure we all struggle with such.
Things we can do to stay more authentically Present is
to move to something that spurs your senses; for instance, aroma therapy (even
baking you might do to send comforting aromas to surround you). Do something that uses your fingers and hands
– work with something that has you feel with your fingertips, hands, feet. Going barefoot is awesome for reconnecting us
back to Mother Earth. Play some music that has you focusing on harmonies and
words. Pop a peppermint or highly
flavored (something) crunchy food into your mouth. Engage your senses.
To connect to being Present, you should take notice of
your own breathing. When you are
disconnected, you will probably notice you shallow breathe. Then take some deep breaths that will bring
you back to being Present.
Some people keep stones in their pockets to rub when
they need calming, but it also brings one back to being Present. Some have lucky charms. Some have a ting, etc. Whatever it takes, when you realize you are
not connected to the Present in a positive way,
Do you ever, for brief moments, check out of reality
to ease emotional chaos that threatens?
How do we take the negative disassociation and replace it with the good
dissociation?
©Carol Desjarlais 7.18.20
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