Where have all the butterflies gone?

 

 

“At 70 years old, if I could give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to use the words ‘fuck off’ much more frequently,”
- Helen Mirren

When we get excited, afraid, or nervous, you can get a fluttery feeling, a prickly feeling, in your stomach area. Sometimes, especially in romantic situations, we call them “butterflies in the stomach”.  In reality, this feeling is part of our beginnings and our fight, freeze, or flight responses.

Early human beings had to be ready to do one of the three, often, as there were big predators ready to attack or eat us.  Our hearts would speed up.  Our muscles would tense up ready to do battle.  Our blood pressure would race upwards.  Adrenaline and cortisol would be released and blood leaves spaces it was supposed to be in …like stomach and muscles, and we could run like the wind while a thousand thousand fluttering things spasm in our belly.  It is a hangover from our earliest times as human being.

It is all different levels of fear that causes the feelings.  We fear abandonment, being eaten alive, and all the other fears we have today, that have nothing to do with racing away from a sabre-toothed tiger. 

Some get butterflies from romance, yes.  But, for me, that is long past.  If butterflies do happen, in our crone age, I cannot know. I have not felt them since before my soulmate died. And, if they do come, it is over something that brings a sense of awe, like beautiful scenery, a gorgeous flower, getting to see a grandchild or great-grandchild, having my family come to visit.  Life does offer one or two but... there they are and there they go.

If you get them for any other reason, and they come often, immediately find something that will abate the anxiety.  Tell igoogle to play a favorite song and dance it off, grab a sweater and go for a walk to use up the extra adrenaline.  Find something to squeeze, like a stress ball, or get a spinner and spin.  In other words, find something to distract you.  I am really good at sudden bursts of housecleaning when anxiety hits like that.

We do not have sabre-toothed tigers wandering around out to get us.  Most fears are not logical in our body responses.  Yes, there are times we need to lift an automobile off another human being, but when adrenaline is released, it has been known to affect some kind of superhuman strength, in those rare situations.  Finding things that soothe anxiety that are good for body, mind and soul, means that we ought not to spend long times with low physical activity.  Adrenaline is a hormone and the body naturally releases some at will.  We are more apt to feel the butterfly sensation for no clear reason other than that. 

If you are going to feel butterflies, I hope it is for the romance reasons.  Enjoy those kinds of butterflies.  The become few and far between.

©Carol Desjarlais 5.19.23