As we crash from one health crises to another, we are changed. If we work hard on resilience, we can manage the turns and detours of masks on or masks off, walk this direction, cannot go here, cannot go there. Man, environmental disasters in this last couple of years: Fires, floods, mudslides, new pandemic issues. And, that does not even come close to our intellectual, emotional, spiritual upheavals through this all: not knowing who is expert or not, loneliness, feelings of resentment, anger, victimized, unanswered prayers, loss. The list goes on and on. There are huge changes in daily life. The toll is greater than we can understand. There are times we can feel overwhelmed, deep anxiety, trauma builds and builds and we try to meet the changes.
All this changes you to meet the new changes around you. Your very mood changes. You have experienced it. The body wants you to be comforted (food). Your very thoughts are tugged at by family friends, societies that are so divisive about facts and fictions. Emotions are raw. Your spirit is low. We are anxious in al the quadrants and this has not happened at this level to us before. This is different. It makes us different. How do we stay resilient?
Resilience is the ability to cope difficult times, to adapt, to bounce back. Some of us have already been trained in resilience, through life’s experiences, and we may have been resilient about some things, sometimes we have caved for a time. We have been disappointed. We have been sad and lost our positive outlook and feel in a numb sphere. We are more sensitive. How do we get through this?
First of all, you are still here. I am still here. We have made it this far. We have learned a few of things we do is not helpful. We know ther were a few things we did to cope was just right. I am afraid I have more DON’Y help than help is my forte. I said, the other day, to my friend, when we were in a group: “You know, just looking at some people piss me off!” We laughed, but it was true. She agreed. People are beoitchier.
When I first thought of Resilience, it pizzed me off, too. I am tired of having to be resilient. I am old, I have been tested. I done with resilience. Then, my spirit said, “You were made resilient…go be that!” And, of course, I do. It is part of my nature. It is part of yours as well.
I guess resilience comes from resolution. I mean, we have to say, “I am made as hell and not going to take it any more” (probably a quote from a movie decades ago.) We get tired, or surprised, at our sense of bitterness and sadness. It is not usually how we are. Turning our feelings (our heart and soul) out towards nature, towards people, towards things t make them better… to make a difference in a positive way; staying focused; deepening your self-esteem; managing your emotions; goes a long ways to being resilient.
Learning to accept things as they are……yes… it is what it is… is a great help tp gaining resilience. We all experience things. We all protect ourselves in different ways. We all, sometimes, deny what is happening and lose resilience as a pay-off.
I will write more about gaining resilience on Thursday, but, in the meantime, spend some time thinking about your own resilience, where you got it, why you got it, and how you can use it in today’s situations. You will see how one could feel Resilience is a dirty word and how it must not be.
©Carol Desjarlais 2.8.22
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