Our poor body and mind and hearts and souls have taken a whopping over the last couple of years. Our anxiety has worsened, or, at best, shown up. We feel so right about what we feel so right about, but the opposition is rough. There seems to be no safe place to state an opinin. The heart aches for gatherings, for our poor Mother Earth, for our children and grandchildren, for those who have lost (and we have all lost so very much), and for feeling numb or having lost a part of ourselves. And the negative voice in our head yabbers on even more loudly because we have s much time on our hands and so much alone time. We spend a great deal of time trying to hush her and find less and less time to listen to the Divine Feminine within as she tries to counter the negatives.
We all need to be cared for. We want people to love us. We are overwhelmed. We all seek comfort and connection to outside people; to gain acceptance and love. It is imperative that we shut out the negative voice(s) and go and find ‘a group’ that speaks to you, your tribe, a group that inspires and encourages in ways that you can feel it. I have this group, a little goddess in all), and I joined a connection group (The red Thread) and I joined a diabetic group to help me understand and to be supported as I make this huge physical change in my life. The groups feed something in me that is hungry. I am able to express my mind, heart and soul. It is a gathering where there is a topic and then we rt our ideas around it, together. It is a wonderful hour or two. It is important to do this. There is lots negative about the internet but there are good things as well. You can find groups of any topic you find comforting. Go, find that! Build your sense of worthiness.
We do not need to earn love and acceptance. We do not need to work for love or acceptance. We do not need to meet someone else’s standard of what is worthy and good. You were born divine. You have your own ten commandments. You have your own golden rules. I have mine. We respect each other’s. It all makes us a better world to live in.
There is no perfect love for all.. there are no limits to personal love. It is not all one-size-fits-all. I adore my youngest daughter. I am a cuddle of babies. From the moment she was born, she was born mad. She rubbed her knees raw from trying to crawl in the neonatal basket (she was naked and under lights because she had to fight off my blood cells because I am rh negative blood type. She screamed until she was hoarse. After she came home, we tried to hold and comfort her. She would arch her head back to get away from the cuddling. As she moved to walking, she would strip any outfit off that I had her in and be running around the yard naked. To this day she seeks comfort and kindness and care but never ever a hug, we force them on her now and again but she is very much an A-frame hugger. She does not need physical touch for comfort and care, where, I, her mother, will take all the hugs and hand touching I can get. We, each, in our way, seek and find comfort and care and love and acceptance. It is always there; we just need to accept it.
Our deep-seated feelings of unworthiness comes from other people’s expectations, or expectations we sense they have. To compound these feelings of being ‘not enough’, we allow our critical inner voice to keep a barrage of negativity going on within us. We allow her to do that. Acknowledge her, that voice, and then disagree with her and hush her up. You are in total control of your own mind. You know what you are doing. You forgive yourself for allowing hr free rein and then be you. Be the beautiful, unique, self you are and do not hang around those who do not acknowledge it. You are enough and you are worthy because you are part of the divine.
You matter!
©Carol Desjarlais 2.13.22
Once you get the color down, let it dry, and come back to it and see what has happened. The whole time you do this, the first time, for sure, your critical Inner voice is going to have a hayday. Do not let her. Hush her.
You can begin to work on her and what your intuitive spirit says how to proceed. Add soem flesh color to the face, but let some of the bottomcolor show through. Start to define her.
Bit by bit, letting her dry between times, spend time away from her and come back. Sometimes I will turn my painting upside down to see another perspective of her. Another thing you can do is take a picture of her and look at that photo. It will tell you where to do a little touch up.
I actually love this one.
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