Living Our Story In Which We Are The Star

 

 

 

“Growing old gracefully really means either disappearing or sticking around but always lying straight to people’s faces about the strength of your feelings and desires.” – Heather Havrilesky

 

We are the star of our own story.  We had a beginning, a middle, some conflict, some resolution, and a denouement.  The denouement in our life story is the final part of the story.  It is where all the happenings in our life come to some resolution, or should.  It is important to decide what genre your story is going to be.  Is it going to be joyful, or is it going to be a sad story?  I want a joyful story all about love, survival, overcoming and thriving.  How about you?

As we age, our body becomes more and more fragile.  We have poor immune systems.  We sag and have bags.  We tend to start to forge things and become frustrated at doing so.  Perhaps there is even fear.  But we do not tell others about it.  It becomes our hidden secret as we tell everyone, “I’m good…I’m fine…”  And, really, we are not…we are aging.  Some of us will burn out without a burst of joy that comes before a star disappears.  With us, burns our authentic story.

Towards the end of our story, we can say we have finally grown up, become an adult, become a wise sage.  We know ‘stuff’.  We feel ‘stuff’.  We believe ‘stuff’ because we have a history of years and years of living ‘stuff’.  We have become a star bright and brimming with being who we are, streaking across others’ sky and leaving them wondering who that was that was so brilliant, and then we disappear, leaving a night sky yearning.  And we live, as if we did not know that about ourselves.

Be that character in your story that is unforgettable, a classic, a story told to children at night before they slumber.  Be that character in a story that women, curled up on the couch, will relate to.  Be that character in your story that men fear.  Be that legend.  Be that myth.  Leave them wondering how they could not have known such bravery, courage, brilliance and soul-deep authenticity about you.  Leave them wishing your story could go on and on, in trilogies, in whole collections of stories worth being told.

Be, that, sisterfriends.  Be all that you really are.

©Carol Desjarlais 2.28.22

 By turnnung the head, changed the line of the sides of the neck, you cn gain a whole different projection of feeling.

For the backgrund, I chose one of my dies to us a a stenci

It is not typical to make the horizon in the mide if the page.   But, for this one I did.  

I, then, began to sketh a sparce drawing.  If I am going to have the head tilted, I had to remember tht how I drw the necmakes a huge difference.  I did not want her whole body tilted, jsut the head. so, the side the head is tilted to, the neck will be shortr and the shouklder higher.

I am not reallt happy how her head is tilted, and, as you can see, as I block in some color, that I did not make the shoulder, on the tilted side, high enough, but I can correct that a bit when I paint.

It always feels better when I begin to paint her.  There is something wrong with the tilt, but I continue on,

I work on her to get some color down and then stop and work on the horizon.  It is best not to make the horizon a straight line, and I correct where it was originally and make the horizon more of center.

Don't ask me what stars are doing in the sky when it is definitely daylight.  Perhaps it is a reminder that, even though we canot see them, they are there.  This fits into the theme;  we are stars whether we feel that we are or not.  

I think justifying it this way felt better than simly knowing the tilt is wrong.  lol

 

A Soldier's Mother

 

 

 

"A Soldiers Mom"

Submitted by: Catherine Hezlep

This is my prayer, I give it for you, I give it for all of you. I pray for you every day, I pray for strength, both yours and mine. As much as I pray for your safety, I ask that I may be strong for you. I ask for forgiveness, begging my sins not follow you.

I ask to be home for your call, That I find the right words to say. I gave passage for your life I gave it to you freely. Please know a mother's heart knows no end nor does it know greater fear than for its child.

I pray for your peace of mind, your steady aim, for your intuition and senses to be keen. I pray you find happiness in your heart and kindness when you are far from home. I pray you keep fond and happy memories of a life you will someday return to.

I pray that you know home will always welcome you with open arms. I pray you have kindred spirits to watch over you. I pray you feel strength from above. I pray you realize you do not walk alone,

I walk with you always. I pray you realize that the things you do bring peace and security to a grateful nation. I pray we all realize what it takes for you to stand watch over a fearful world.

Most of all, I pray you know that I am proud to be a soldier's mom. I am proud simply to be your mom. I stand strong beside you, in body and in spirit. Be strong, be safe, and ever vigilant. The light of home shines for you.

 It is horrific, what is happening in the Ukraine.  A third world war would devastate the whole earth with all the nuclear power and might so many countries now have.  I cannot imagine the devastation that is taking place right now.  I only listen to the news long enough to catch the gist of what other countries are doing about this.  I cannot bear that we have not already gone over to help them.  They are our brothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, sons.  We are a global family.  Have we learned nothing from covid?  While I feel like we need to be there and help, I am also feeling like I need not wish for us to help because I risk sending my son over there.  It is a quandary.  A mother’s quandary. 

There may be some good news, for me, a disappointment for my son.  Hopefully this will be sorted so that there will not be full-scale war where Canada jumps in.  I can only hope.  My son will be disappointed.  I can draw a free breath for a bit until we know for sure.

©Carol Desjarlais 2.27.22

 

Training

 

The saddest day, leaving for Afghanistan

hit with a fifty pound bolt that went up unr his helmet

Down time in Afghanistan

position a Colonial Solder

First multiples born on the base. (spontaneous triplets)

Marriage and now  blended family of 7.

more training
During the fires inB.c., he and his platoon weere in charge of seurity at the towns in evac.  They hapepned upoin a man having sei\urs at the side of the road and having a heart attack.  Againt some of theiir rules, he had to jump out and help.  He saved the iviliain;s life and later received a special commendation for the hands of the top of the Army for doing so.  He is a much loved soldier by his commanders and his platoon and peers.  Some called him Padre.  He was asked to be one but ended up being sent to train as Special Services.  This put him in s[eial circumstannces during afghanistan tour of duty.  I know his heart belongs where he is.  I have to earn to adjust and keep y proverbial chite togfether for his wife and kids.  I am hanging on to the hopre that they wil not send him becauser of his medical issues.  He is raying to go for all his training since afghanista has been for what this may net be.  He is ow an officer and he has trained hs men hard for such as this.

My beloved baby of our family.  Hopefully he will be ale to stay hoe and not have to be deployed,