“Quiet the noise, block the whine
Create a wall of calm divine.
Offer a smile, perhaps a soft word.
Abundance is forever and lack deterred. – Emyme
Goddess of peace and tranquility. Look at the full moon. Is it not serene in its fullness? Serenity is hard won, I have found. Just when I think I am almost there, boom… something happens because I am not alone and I have found with the last two years, I tend to find more things dig at me. Happiness and tranquility go hand in hand.
As you know, well, art is my saving grace. I tried jigsaw puzzles last winter, but choose ones that I simply could not do. I have a friend who does fabulous photo journaling of her city. A woman, I met, is learning a new language. I am looking forward to the once a month zoom with my grandchildren where I create something fun with them. I am not into internet games but who knows what winter will bring. These are the things that interest me and tend to keep me busy in less thought-based activities and more able to sink into that sacred space of intuition.
Those of you NOT into your seventies have most likely not thought of what it is really going to be like when you hit the 60, 70, 80 lifespans. Maybe you are still focused on what is going on in your now, before retirement and before those decades add new levels of being human to you. I get it. I did not either. At 40, I was still working, with all the drama and chaos that a career can bring. And, mine was not just an every day ordinary career. No, I chose a challenging one. In fact, one that would challenge me in every component of my Medicine Wheel Life. I worked, retrieving troubled children in troubled communities. I lived, mostly in isolated (fly-in) and semi-isolated environments until my last job where I lived next to a highway where I could drive out, most times, except deep winter. A salesman came to my door, yesterday and as we got talking he spoke of his wife working as a director at a psychiatric hospital in a city nearby. I shook my head in wonder because that would be a tough one. I chose to work frontline. I had offers of Principalship and VP positions, but I always asked to be left working frontline. I knew where my abilities and talents and education and experience lay. Abilities change. I could no longer do that if God made new mountains. I no longer have those in me. I have peace in that, for sure.
Successful aging, I have discovered, is all about accepting limitations. You are not going to be able to do what you did at 40, 50, 60. Your levels of energy dip drastically. If you dig paydirt, you pay. Find new things you can do with new abilities.
I have gone from a social person to a more introverted person. Drama does not concern me and I find only drama out there. I keep social excursions to a minimum and friends to a minimum as well. I do enjoy FB, though, and adore this group. On days when I can, I am just a bundle of posting and texting. On days I am not able to, I simply find other ways to connect.
Having said all that, I still need to find ways to be actively engaged in life. I am a lifelong learner, as I have said, so I explore, research, seek, and find amazing things that catch my interest. Netflix has been a serious aide in seeking new ways to enjoy new things. I love documentaries. I love to watch comediennes. I love nature anything. And, I have a few series I have binged on on gray days. I go out once every two weeks to a small bingo with a friend. (small as in 25 people allowed in). Over masks, we chat and titter and grumble and, most often, win. $13.50 is a big win. I have begun to talk a block a day, or most days when not rainy. I make baked goods and compassion-meals for neighbors when they need a lift, a break, or have had surgery, etc. It is my little bit of service I can do.
I find I am better at regulating my emotions…thank goodness. Less chaos, less pressure, less inner emotional dilemmas. Most days, it is easy to stay positive but what I am trying to flog now is boredom. Sometimes I do not even want to paint. I do not want to sere anyone, do anything, nothing suffices that ‘whatever it is I wish to do’ doldrums. Those are the times I wander around the house, into the storage room and shelving areas and seek something to do. Most often I find something that piques my interest. How do we keep life interesting without the drama? I have photographs I can go through, but, nope, not yet… just not into it. I have next month’s theme and projects to work on, but no, I procrastinate. Sometimes, just sometimes, this no stress life leaves me bland. I used to create stress to clean my house (invite someone over for dinner in four hours... man I could spiff up things in minutes. Nope. Don’t have that kind of energy any more.
Tranquillitus is all full of opal and topaz colors, soft milky, creamy, dreamy colors. She sends us the feelings of having had a stomach full of harvest vegetables… satiated but not stuffed. She is the calm weather that is not too cold and not too hot, and evenings that are great for bonfires and nights full of great sleeping. And, best of all, she is the Goddess of doing absolutely nothing at all and not feeling guilty about it. She is often shown with a rudder and, or, a dragon or sea creature in her hand. She is often depicted with wheat sheaves. She is the pause after the harvest is completed. She is the calm waters. She is pure tranquility.
“APPLY WITHIN
You once told me
You wanted to find
Yourself in the world -
And I told you to
First apply within,
To discover the world
within you.
You once told me
You wanted to save
The world from all its wars -
And I told you to
First save yourself
From the world,
And all the wars
You put yourself
Through.
APPLY WITHIN by Suzy Kassem”
―
Somehow, prepare yourselves. This is not at all what we thought it might be. There is a fine line between tranquility and boredom. Keep active any way you can. As the full moon blossoms full and round, find a way to blossom, in quiet beauty, too. Choose those to be around that are tranquil too… but that does not mean not full of laughter and nodding assent to what is being talked about. Find that peaceful place. It is yours. You will need it.
©Carol Desjarlais 10.20.21
No comments:
Post a Comment