A woman is like a bee treat her well and she will make honey, treat her badly and she will go wild. – Kalima quote
It was Mellona who was the ancient Roman Goddess of bees and honey, in the ancient times on the Island of Crete, who believed honey was water, worthy of the Gods, said by St Augustine, of honey and the bees. It was given as offering to the Gods and goddesses. Olympians were given it. They were symbol of industriousness, and associated with Muses and the dead. It was always used as a medicine (antiseptic), as well. It was said to be fed to Zeus.
Worker bees are all female and they do all the hive work plus guarding the hive and keep it warm or cool. They, also, are the bees who collect the nectar and pollen, water and create the honey. If she stings, she dies. They work themselves too death, as well.
Wherever we see sweetness, there can be bitterness, and that incudes all of us, women. It was also the main sweet when celebrating Demeter. All true oracles need honey and honey offerings. I find this so interesting. Would the oracles sting if it were not offered?
We all know women who are bitter /sting, whether they know it, themselves, or not. It is interesting to see weaker foundation women distance themselves from the stronger more vocal and more ‘out there’. Rather than help one another, so many tend to want to tear another woman down. We see it all the time, beginning at pre-puberty. Suddenly it becomes all about how we look, how they look, how we begin to judge and who decide to judge. Some never grow out of it and we hear gossiping, right through the ages, that is meant to tear another down in some way and typically, they are sweet as honey to that very one when they want some ‘goods’ to pass along. Man, that so sucks.
Madeleine Albright has a famous quote: “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help each other!” We need to champion each other. We need to be the cheerleaders. The betrayal of another woman is worse than betrayal by men, I think. And the bitterness stings.
Bitterness comes from a feeling of feeling helpless and sense everything is out of your control. We cannot change what makes us feel bitter but we choose to feel that way. Bitterness has a sting for those who are bitter, as well. It feeds our sense of low-self-esteem. I, also, have come to observe in myself, that being around a bitter person can cause me to feel bitter (usually with no reason for feeling so).
Now is the time we have for self-evaluation, for refusing sympathy (not compassion – pity). Time to consider what you are telling as your story and find some positive things to take up the room some negative ones are holding. There is time to be responsible, not borrow someone else to take responsibility for you or your feelings. We are only a victim if we choose to think we are rather than being a thriver, in spite of. Time to acknowledge that bitterness is a bad case of fear of change. Time to think about how to forgive (not forget) others and yourself. Time to stay in the Present and stop reliving old ‘stuff’. Time to seek new ways to experience joy and adventure. Time for me to remember that life is too short to feel nasty. I must own my own perspective.
Let’s sweeten up for each other. Do you have a way for letting go of bitterness? Please share it.
©Carol Desjarlais 10.7.21
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