Mother Mary

Wikipedia states that Mary, as was custom, would have been betrothed to Joseph when she was 12 - 14 years of age, and that Joseph was circa 90 years old when this happened.  It was custom.  She had been raised to be obedient. 

Never has a Christmas come, since I grew up enough to know birth's travail, that the story does not give me thought of aught but of that early teenaged mother, uncomfortably riding the ridge of a donkey's back, for hours, for days, for any time at all.  We do not know if she had the baby early, or how difficult her first labor was, without mother, without female friends and family, without a doula, without any help.  It is said the journey was up to 80 miles and how many days it took to arrive to where she could no longer bear it.  Mary's condition is mention as being 'heavy with child' - [Luke 2:5]  

It was not December, we know that, it was autumn, Bethlehem is high up and the road to Bethlehem was a steep climb.  Her discomfort had to be huge. My heart feels how it would feel to know you were going to have a baby without your womenkin.  Imagine how heartsick this early teen was.  How terrified to be on the road with so many strangers going for census.  We know when that census was.  We, also know, that, if shepherds were out with their flock at night, it could not have been winter. 

We do not know if she was put in a stable, in a cave, in the basement of the house, who, at that time, had animals below living quarters for warmth.  There is no mention of an innkeeper but there was no room anywhere at hand because of the numbers of people there for the counting.  

We do not know how capable a 90 year old man could have been, after such a long journey's walk.  Nor do we know if he had any clue as to how to help her give birth since men were never allowed at birthings.  We do not know how soon, after arriving, she gave birth.  We have no idea about the birth because that was not known to the men who tell the story.  We simply know, poof and he was there and how she cared for herself, how she cut the cord, how she dealt with the afterbirth, nothing of reality of birth as an early teen.  

Of course, some other man, some Christian writer, always male stories were passed down, skip over the reality by simply saying that because of who she was birthing, she was spared the pain of childbirth.  Some stories say she leaned against a date tree which was being harvested at that real time of year.  Some say angels came as doulas.  The Quran says that she was instructed to shake the date tree when pain hit.  Those of us who do not know the culture nor traditions simply took the storytellers at their word.  

We, typically follow the thoughts of the famous artists way before our time, who paint her a fully grown woman and pale of skin and garbed in spotless robes of shining blue.  We know none of that, either.  She was middle-eastern and her skin would have been darker.  

And as for the Magi showing up right away, could not have happened, and that there were three Kings, is also not known.  We listen to songs and call it good.  All Eastern women were kept away from men and kept in purification areas for 40 days. For seven days no man should go near her at all.  On the 8th day, fathers took their baby boys to the tabernacle, or temple, to be circumcised.  Then after 33 days Mary would be deemed clean.  So much Patriarchy and little written from or to women's point of view and reality of birthing.

Again, I simply sorrow for that little girl, alone, with an old man, being forced to go through what she did, if she did.  How much do we not know?

©Carol Desjarlais 12.21.19