Monday, December 2, 2019

Dark Days of December









“My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.” ― Emery Lord, When We Collided

Who said faces have to look like faces we know?  Who says you cannot use any color your Muse decides to use to create a face?  No one I know.

Sometimes, you simply draw a face and then make a palette with colors you do not usually use, from lightest to darkest colors.  Then you simply begin with the mid-range colors for shading, the darkest for darkest places, and the lightest/brightest for light. 
I began the page with mixtures of mid-range to lightest range, swathing the blank page with color. , even over the drawing of the portrait.  I then go in, mindful of lights and darks, with colors from my palette.  

This is a fun project to do because your brain/ego says that this is what it has to work with and it allows for experimentation more easily.  

Here, in the Okanogan, we get a lot of gray rainy days.  It can get cold, a dry cold, or lake effect wet cold, but sun is random.  Many, who suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) can cause for gloomy thoughts, gloomy attitude, and just gloom and doom, at different levels.  It is not the howling wind and snow curling into nooks and crannies Southern Alberta type winter days.  It is not the snowdrifts up to the eaves kind of winter.  And, believe it or not, I miss that.  But, here I am, and here is winter.
It is not the dark days that have us feel depressed in our dark seasons.  It is from within.  We are great 'copers', good 'copers', or not good 'copers'.  We are complainers or we are seekers of positive ways to deal with Mother Nature's hard season.  Seasons do not orchestrate our mood.  Mood orchestrates our season.

How often do we think the next season will make us happy?  We are simply dooming ourselves to feel and be miserable with this.  This is the time to work on the inner Self.  It is the time our ancestors put away their outside work as much as possible and stayed in to keep warm and comfortable around the fire. Yes, there were times they HAD to venture outside, but, we, like them, do have times we MUST go out.   This is the time for us to do the same.  This is the time to really spend some time with ourselves and to figure out how to come out of our winter den a better person.  

While it can be dangerous to go hiking or walking outside during winter, try to get out your door for a few minutes a few times a day.  Yes, this is me.  Suddenly I am afraid of falling..we break easily at this age.  I have been told to 'stroll', not walk, around the block once a day, so I am doing it in ways to make this happen even if it is walking around the outside of my house a dozen times.  I take my phone with me and I have the health heart on the screen and it keeps track of steps I take in a day.  You would be surprised what the smell of someone heating their home with wood does to your soul.  We do not have snow on the ground yet, so it will be a while before I truly get into this.  I will be careful about shoveling the first days but, I figure I can get me a track made.  It is good not to breathe your same old, same old, stale air so that, alone does not affect you.

Sugar can affect your moods, I have found...as in dieting...as in diabetic dieting.  Just the thought makes me grumpy, so I have to change that up.  I have figured that the more sugar that I eat, the more hyped up I get, and then the let down when I refuse to have sugar.  I am grateful that the substitute sugar I am using has been proven to not be unhealthy.  Diabetics everywhere are grateful.  The squares I am making, the Christmas baking, I use chocolate, because I do not like chocolate so I am not tempted.  I have a huge tray of squares to make for a highschool trip charity day, so they will get lots of chocolate homemade treats for that day next week. I do not need any downers and sugar is one of mine.  As is not eating.  When the food you like is prohibited, I tend to not eat.  This, too, is not good for ones feeling of enough. And, good thing I am not a drinker.  I would be drunk by ten am.  Alcohol is a downer as well.

I am trying to stay positive about staying in Canada for the winter.  I have to find ways to make sure that winter (which I detest, by the way) is enjoyed, not merely endured.
We had a couple of days of snow that followed the beautiful foggy hoarfrost whose  beauty cannot be described. There was this beautiful bluegray haze and I took photos and was awed by that beauty no matter that it was not bitterly cold like those winters of my youth.  It, alone, made me grateful to be able to experience such, especially when a friend, who is from NFL had never seen it before and was over the moon at the beauty.  I have always said that I like the first snow because it covered up the sins of the season before.  I do not, and I am grateful for it, that I do not have SAD, for some truly do and there is a huge difference between being moody and being affected.  For them, they know what it takes to get through.

I wish you happy.  I wish you find ways to beat the winter blues.  Share ways you have of beating these doldrums.

©Carol Desjarlais 12.2.19

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