Sunday, September 15, 2019

Journaling Simplicity









I know who I am. I am not perfect. I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I'm one of them. -Mary J. Blige
 
How many of us are burdened with 'stuff' we will never use again?  How many of have collected 'stuff' intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, that keeps us in way too much busyness?  All of us require some simpleness in our lives, during this speed-of-light technological world we live in.  Life starts to slow us down, physically, and all we can do is keep our minds sharp, our emotions true, and our soul as authentic as it was meant to be.  As we age, we begin to reflect on our lives, our meanings, our purposes.  The older we quiet, the more sedentary our ives may become, we have more time on our hands and we get to do and think and feel and believe whatever we are, at the very core of our identity.  

Our mornings are taken in more slowly.  We listen more to things we had no time to listen to before.  We draw closer to nature, to our little plots or balconies of garden plots and pots.  We feel life's whispers.  We feel the whispers.  We hear the ether's whispers.  The more we simplify our lives, the better able we are to hear the important things.  

It is easier to have gratitude when you have less to overwhelm your gratitude.  In the old days, everything that came in had an important purpose; sometimes a life-saving purpose.  Today, we collect and store and packrat things we may not even remember we have until we do some deep-cleaning ( artists beware!...lol).  We have forgotten about repurposing.  Mother spoke of flour sacks, sugar sack, and dresses made of that material.  Living simply allows for more time to do for and with others because we are not so busy dusting between nicknacks, for instance. 

Spending time in utter silence, for me, doing art, is the most silence I have in my life.  It is the silence within.   It restores me.  It gives me time to think purposeful thoughts.  It gives me time to listen, truly listen, to the sounds around me.  Summer is the time that I do my art outside in the gazebo and it is the time I get to listen to the resident toad, the crickets, the baby birds, and lately, the longing caw of rasping crows.  How often do we hear, I am too busy to think?  

Simplifying life means we have time to really remember things, not just the hurry, worry, flurry of negative things, but the best of things.  These last few days I have been sorting through my DNA connections ( my paternal family found me a month or so ago and I am connecting and hearing stories of my father and his life and the connection with my mother.  I just heard something that sorts out another bit of my past and why I might feel and, yes, hear, some things.  I was told that, when my father came to take me away from my mother, when I was a few months old, that I was hidden in the back of a dark closet, under a blanket.  This has really impacted me.  I know now why I have always felt uncomfortable being in confined spaces, and in having my head covered over.  Primal wounding would explain that, for I am not afraid of much like that.  I have had need of some silent time to really work through that.  It was hugely impacting.  Is it why I have always had to have some background noise when I am lying in the dark?   It is not haunting, nor negative, it is simply another piece of the puzzle of who I am?  Do we have simple time to really consider who and why we are who we are?  Some memories are worth digging up to be sure.  And, we can only do this by living more simply and less crammed life.  

When we are not too busy being busy, we have time to live determined, flexible, open lives.  Our calendar filled with scrawls of appointments and things to do does not allow for time to be Present to those in our everyday life.  When we are rushing just to rush, we miss doing things that give you a new world view, a new community view, a new personal view and sitting with that for a time.  Were we too busy, keep ourselves too busy, to really become who we were meant to be?  

As we age, I think we have a sense of regrets, and this might be because our life was so cluttered.  We find we have time.  Time is of the essence and does not need to be filled with furfural.  We have a sense of needing to fill our time with important things beyond the physical and intellectual, really, we are in the age and stage of deepening our emotional maturity and spirituality.  Memories are not hard to carry when you simplify what we are doing.  It is a time to reconnect with things, people, places, that we might have neglected in our life.  

To me, I find that the least busy, most simple time of life was when I was around eight to ten years of age;  a time of riding my horse all day, a time of blue jeans and barefeet, a time of no childhood need, no teenaged angst, no adult busyness, and something my soul longs for.  So, this is why I chose to do an illustration of a blue-jeanned girl.  When was the most simple time of your life?  What represents Simplicity to you?  Can you express that in your art journal, or your painting, or your poem, or your thoughts today?

©Carol Desjarlais 9.14.19

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