Don’t
walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend. - Albert Camus
I think that our
authentic friends are mirrors of ourselves, in the good we see in ourselves, or
the negatives. It can go either
way. The true friend is longstanding,
all-abiding, who changes us for the better by having them in our lives. They inspire us. They seek comfort from us and we seek comfort
from them. There is reciprocal
compassion, understanding and non-judgment.
They know our 'whys' as well as we know theirs.
If, by now, we
do not have those kinds of friends, then we need to go lookign for them. We look for people with common
interests. Not all friends will be soul
friends. Many will be rainy day friends. We have all known those. There will be friendships that evolve around
interests, yes, but there is always room for new and different levels of
friendships. There are acquaintances
that we buiod trust with. This is the
beginning of real friendships.
Trust is huge in
true friendships. One does not have to
verbalize trust, nor that they guard shared confidences because it is a
given. Respect builds, through time, and
tests, tribulations and trials. We know
who is there for us and they know we are there for them. This week, I saw a man from another province speak
of such things: in that he wrote
something to the effect that, "We know her better because of all of you
gathered her for her memorial."
That is really saying something that is profound. Just like saying to enamored girls and boys,
"Is this the girl you would bring home to mother?" This holds true with friends as well.
We all need
those cheerleaders. We all need that
encouragement with no hidden agenda. We
all need someone who will tolerate our shortcomings. We all need that one friend that will say it
like it is, with no malice, with no hidden agenda, as well. With a real friend there is no deepest need
that comes from us because they seem to know what we need.
To be a good
friend, trust is built on honesty. Being able to reveal our shadow selves to
another is huge. Being vulnerable to
another human being is frightening, unless they are that tried and true one
that seems to have blurred boundaries of closeness.
Good friends let
each other know how important they are to each other. Love and appreciation is a huge need and we
should not have to ever even earn that, in true friendships, it is there and
has been proven time and time again.
How can we show
what friendship means to us? In an art
journal page, try to express friendship.
I have been playing with illustrations, a bit. I am hoping to take a class that is offered
on such. I am sure it would build my
other skills in doing so. How about
you? Can you illustrate what friendship
means to you?
©Carol
Desjarlais 9.12.19
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