Journaling Cleaning Out the Basement Pests

“The key to happiness - or that even more desired thing, calmness - lies not in always thinking happy thoughts. No. That is impossible. No mind on earth with any kind of intelligence could spend a lifetime enjoying only happy thoughts. They key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don't become them.
Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person.”
― Matt Haig, Reasons to Stay Alive

Instead of being full of regrets, it is imperative for mental health, that we begin to acknowledge our shadow self and focus in on making our Present Self one we take kind and compassionate pride in.  Many of us, probably MOST of us see ourselves more in negative light than in the positive light.  

To say we have had reasons not to thrive is probably a misnomer. We have all, certainly, had things of life that have knocked us down.  If we give in to the negatives, we will gain nothing but low self-esteem and we will never be who we were meant to be.  Sometimes we get tired of people verbalizing their weaknesses and their 'not enough' inferences because, all of us are struggling and to hear someone give in to their negatives only makes our load feel heavier.  Sometimes we just have to save ourselves and work on loving our own negatives enough to get past them.  As long as we become saturated with other's woes, we can never really work on our own, or recognize our own positives. 

The Inner voice/EIW language/our private thoughts, always affect how we deal with the world.  Our emotions affect not just our self, but others as we emit what we are feeling in myriads of ways.    What we tell ourselves impacts everything around us, as our energy put out is constantly affecting through ripples upon ripples.  Our inner language shapes more of our thoughts and literally is setting decisions about how we live life.  Happiness has a whole lot to do with success in life and so we need to shut down the language we draw from our past. One can only stand negativity for so long, we know that, yet we do that to ourselves.  We need strength not self-imposed misery.
Denial is not the way to go.  Accepting that we do have reasons to feel negative and then working to change the negative to a lesson and then a lesson learned, is key.  Poor self-esteem equals poor life choices.  At some point, we need to turn the negative thinking to positive thinking, because life is already overbearing and overwhelming in the present.  If we think of all things negatively and throw in a couple of weak positives, we lose self-confidence and once you lose that you tend to hide yourself away in fear others will notice you have a shadow self.  Truly, others do not care, unless they are gossipmongers or hurt people trying to hurt people.  You open yourself up to more and more judgment by others, hurt by others, and more negatives because we draw what we think to us.  

It is a paradox that what we think are our guilts, our sins, our failures, become a force of their own and we do become the result of our own undoing. In fact, we become so deeply into the belief we are more negative than positive that we become stalled in working on our positives.   When we look at why we might do this, it is noted that some of how we think is actually inherited and then set in the first six years of our lives.  (You can Google this...it is eye-opening)This, I think, means we inherited some and then were conditioned beyond that in our interactions as we move away from home life and into kindergarten or first grade and beyond.  

Yes, we experienced a great deal that impacted who we are, how we feel about ourselves, and how we carry on if we do not heal ourselves.  It is not up to anyone else to heal you.  True healing comes from our own inner work.  It is the same old adage...what we work to get, we respect; what is given to us is less respected.  That does not mean, if the issue is huge, and you are incapable of dealing with your own problems, that you should not go somewhere to get help... yes, you should...even a parent, a sibling, a friend who knows you well, and if that fails, then to go to get professional help.  Sometimes we do not realize how devastating this is to Self. 
This is the time to de-pest our basements;  to stop our negative self talk about stuff that is no longer present, although may have some residuals because we have kept them pertinent, and improve our outlook and inner-look of self.  We have heard this before.  I have posted about this before.  

What advice would you give me if I were you?  Learn to encourage yourself the same way you would encourage another.  Be kind to yourself, for goodness sakes.  Let me be kind to myself.  Use safety words within, if you are feeling overwhelmed.  Give yourself, and I will give me, a good talking too.  My dad used to see us whining or sobbing over nothing and say, "Dry up, or I will give you something to cry about!"  Lord that is what my inner voice needs to say to itself.  Somehow we have to talk ourselves into believing the best of ourselves.  

Recognize what you are good at.  Stop that inner voice.  Notice in ways you have been an angel to others.  Notice what you are capable of.  Be your best self by cleaning out your basement.  Take on new challenges and be okay with not getting it, and try the challenge another way.  Be around people who encourage you, inspire you, nurture you.  

If you bump into resistance from others, know those others are not part of your tribe.  Recognize we are our own worst critic.  You are worthy; focus on ways you are worthy; recognize you are enough; submerge yourself in your positives and let the negatives go their way of the past.  There has to be somebody buried down there in that basement.  Find it, recover it, and breathe it back to life.  Let no one put you asunder.  That is their basement.  

DePew, in his workbook, offered this challenge:
First draw a character that expresses the least favorite part of self, what does it eat, what are its habits, where does it live, who are its friends..?
Create what you sense as your basement pest or what you sense as your monster/demon.  But, remember, the monster is not you;  it is your sense of your shadow side. 
Then do a page of your angel within with all your beautiful qualities that far outweigh the pests in the basement.   - DePew

Do that, and then make sure you do that angel beautifully in your page to express who you really are.  You can do it.  I believe in you.

©Carol Desjarlais 9.25.19