Journaling Our Tribe

“We're connected, as women. It's like a spiderweb. If one part of that web vibrates, if there's trouble, we all know it, but most of the time we're just too scared, or selfish, or insecure to help. But if we don't help each other, who will?”
― Sarah Addison Allen, The Peach Keeper

It is so common for women to gather (think how many times you have taken girlfriends with you to the bathroom).  We will find a way.  We are drawn to each other.  We crave the company of our sisterfriends.  We need them because, with other women, you do not have to say too much because they can all read between the lines.  We crave being able to relate to other women and to have other women relate to us.  It keeps us whole.

It is difficult to find ways to gather in today's hustle and bustle.  Siem of us are getting elderly and it is more difficult to find women to gather with.  (I am grateful for the internet).  Some of us do not go to bars, d not go to church, so where can we gather?  I learned to find friends in a hurry, go to your small town bingo.  I have some fabulous friends and we meet once a week to share treats, talk, and play bingo.  It is a cheap night out and it fills in time, and it is just good to get around other women.

It is important to gather because we are nurturing human beings and we are only filled with a sense of belonging, of being of service, when we gather with friends.   The best thing about nurturing others is that it nurtures our self as we do so.  Being with good girl friends keeps us from that looming sense of being alone.  We are, eventually, going to really be alone and if we nurture friends and nurture our self, we have that reserve of compassion and caring waiting for us for the times we need it.  Sometimes, when I am full of nerve pain, near to wishing to die, it helps to have someone you can call up and just tell someone else how much it hurts... yes, we need those friends we gather with, to support us when we need it.  And visa versa, of course.  

We do not have to justify our getting together to anyone.. it has to be a normal part of our life. Sister friends have always gathered, sometimes around the open campfire, sometimes over a potbelly stove, over a restaurant meal, at sewing circles, bingo, book clubs.  We do not need to seek how to gather, we just seem to make a way to do it. 

For my art journal, I have made another sticky backed craft foam stamp.  I have used this simple stamp in many different ways, as you have seen, and will see again.  Our final art journal challenge for September is to create a stamp that portrays friendship amongst your own tribe of women you call friends.  

Journaling Daughter of the Night

“The moon is a loyal companion.  It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.  Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

I remember, as a child, loving to drive across the Kainai Reserve and seeing the lamplights glowing from their windows.  But, driving at night was always a favorite.  In the back seat, you could watch the stars twinkle and move.  But, my favorite was always the moon.  The hours or so it took to drive out in the prairie, where nothing impeded my view, I studied her.  I could see Rabbit symbols, of course, faces, and my wonder at her was bone deep.  I think we do not notice lights of any kind unless we get away from artificial lights.  Once, we were not afraid of being out in the dark.

Once we followed the cycles of the moon, for planting, for knowing when a child/animals might be born, when to harvest, when to gather what herbs, when to celebrate, when to stay in.  Once, our hormonal cycles fit with the Moon's cycles.  Our DNA responded to her for we took the time to notice and become aware of how she cycled in us.  Once, we were more intuitive, especially in full moon time.

Then, Patriarchy took hold of our moon-female connections.  We were taught to be ashamed of our cycles, we were taught to be afraid to be out at night, we were taught that evil women/witches gathered to do evil in the dark.  They did all they could to break that beloved genetic connection to the moon.  Red Moons were equated to bleeding women and soon women could not touch men's tools, their weapons, be around men (but we had the deep spiritual activity of gathering in the Red Tent) and we were deemed unclean and could not join in religious activities or even prepare food.  Native Americans honored women, though, and the power of creation.   They believe we are/were co-creators and that power was magnified during menstrual time.  Our power during menstrual time was magnified and overrode men's spiritual doings.  We honored them by not overstepping our power.

In the Red Tent, women gathered, even those post-menopausal, because it was there the teaching to girls was done, the healing of sisters, the caring for elderly women.  It is said that an Elder woman's (post-menopausal) wisdom is greatest.  To many, the beginning bleed to the last day of bleed is a time of cleansing the womb and in some cultures, it is seen as an inner death and this is seen as a time when the ancestors are closest to them.  Oh, what we have lost in this hustle bustle life we live in. 

As daughters of the moon, we have lost our natural flow, we have interceded in our natural flow, we have stopped our normal hormonal cycles.  Our emotions still cycle and it is our emotions that make us beautiful, but we have lost the hormonal connection to nature, to the Universe, to our wisdom that is deeply spiritual.  It is time to take back our night, indeed, not just one day/evening of the year.  We need to get back to purifying ourselves, monthly, in body, mind, heart and soul, as we were meant to do, and created to do. 

During New Moon, we should be more still, to rest, to be simple in our activities, to spend time thinking and asking questions of ourselves and come to some wisdom in answers.  It is a time to set some new intentions.  During Full Moon, fall into your power, to release things burdening us, And assert our feminine power in positive ways, nurturing ways, compassionate ways to the world, to our brothers, to our sisters and to our self.  

No longer accept the terms of negative aspects of femininity that patriarchy has imposed on us.  Did you know that hysteria, a common term applied to women,  comes from the Latin "hystericus' meaning 'of the womb'?  And, did you remember that hysterectomies were supposed to curb women's emotions?  Did you recognize that 'lunatic' means 'moon madness' and is often applied to women as well?  Did you realize that when we call menstruation our 'period' that this is an old term that implied ending?  I had not taken the time to realize and as I move into my Elderhood, I am trying to be more connected to the moon, to the stars, to the seasons, to life itself, and to the nights.  My strongest wisdom cycle of life in now.  I am hungry to know more and more and more.  I spend a great deal of time contemplating as I do my art.

 

Do an art journal, or diary writing, on how you are Daughter of the Night.  I did another illustrative page.

©Carol Desjarlais 9.29.19

Journaling Flightiness

“As we go through the flightiness of time, dazed by the inebriety of our mental time voyage, we must hit the brakes, sometimes, and not shy away from questioning ourselves, when we wade through the tanning mist of our memory that embroiders our thoughts or distorts them. - Erik Pevernagie

Some gray area between vigilante and complacence is our need to make sure that we support one another in what we believe, whether we totally agree or not, and not merely tread water in these rough seas we are living in.  We are so used to fitting in to society, following antiquated traditions, doing the same ticky tacky thing as everyone else, that we forget that we, women, are the ones the Elders speak of when they speak of healing each other and Mother Earth. 

I watched a documentary on women of Afghanistan last night.  I could not believe that there are still small areas that believe their daughters are bartering material.  The idea of selling one's daughters is not in the Quran.  It is not part of Muslim society as a whole, but to find out that, like in every religion, there are some pockets of areas where men and brothers will kill the daughter or sister if she does not marry whom they choose.  The person doing the documentary, a woman journalist, a Muslim woman, was as brave as any woman could be to go to one woman's father and brother and question them on the 'why' of their daughter/sister being forced, kidnapped when she ran away and married who she wanted (another Muslim man she truly loved) and father and brother beat her fiercely and meant to kill her.  Even then (2012) she, and he, were jailed for six years.  Afghan women's group got her out (she had a baby while in the jail) and her son.  The father and brother said they will find her, even in America and she must kill her son and she would be killed.  When told that was not a law of religion of Muslim society, they said it did not matter, they'd do it because it had always been done then.  And, even when the father said that he needed her to take care of him, and saying he loved her, still he would kill her.  There were many women and children in the jail together for the crime of running away or having a lover. The warden of that part of the jail was a Muslim woman who did not agree that women and children should be there for such.   I was appalled.  The woman, who the documentary was about, was now in a safe house, that is kept secret and there are guards there. Should such matter to us, who are coddled and pampered and safe within families and religions that do not see us as total rejects?  Do we not owe the women at the US/Mexican border something?  What can we even begin to do?

I am old.  I have been coddled and lived in safety for the most part.  Any unsafe thing I did was due to my choices.  None of us were perfect and whatever 'perfect' means to each of us.  I gave service, my whole career, to those who could not stand up for themselves, or for those who simply do not know what 'normal' society is.  I fostered teenagers even before my career.  I did Women's Empowerment circles as long as I was able.  As you can see, I am still about empowering other sisters.  I have mentored young women.  I have supported them in as many ways as I could.  I think I had a sense that I owed women the easier way of living as I have known and to show them how one can go from one way of being to a healthier way of being.  I have tried to be a role model.  I have tried never to intercede when not asked to.  Whatever I have done is but a grain of fine sand in the world.  I am too tired to do much but lovingly encourage and empower.

We, women, have power beyond our ken.  Our very thoughts stir the ether.  Wr can no longer waffle.  Our Mother Earth is in such travail and travesty.  The people of the globe are traumatized with all of our societies and the dictates of such.  We have been monarchs in a cocoon.  We need to break through, dry and spread our wings, and take flight in any way we can to help our sisters of Mother Earth.  No matter how frazzled and tired we are, there is still time and space for us to fill, in any personal way we can.

When I did this illustration page, (as you can see, unfinished)) I had, before beginning, thought of what my life was and what I wished it to be in order to make a difference in the world.  I begin at home.  I begin with making myself that risen Monarch.  I am flighty, yes I am, and I can still do something, even little things, that might make a difference.

What difference do you make in the world, can you make in the world?  Can you express it in/on a journal page?  Yes, you can.  I can.  We can...make a difference.

©Carol Desjarlais 9.28.19

Journaling Samsara

"Saṃsāra is a Sanskrit word that means "wandering" or "world", with the connotation of cyclic, circuitous change. It also refers to the concept of rebirth and "cyclicality of all life, matter, existence", a fundamental assumption of most Indian religions. In short, it is the cycle of death and rebirth." - Wikipedia

Fall is a good time to acknowledge, accept, and love Samsara that happens in life.  We are constantly letting something die off, or deal with losses, or changing and  discarding what is no longer needed and we fill that void with something new.

I may have a different sense of any death.  I have a belief that, when Creation happened, there was a certain amount of energy that it was created with.  When one thing dies, that energy is filled with more energy in some form, but the energy in the Universe stays the same.  When we die, the energy that was 'us', becomes many parts of many more things.  When our tired body is done, our organs tired, our blood not as rich and energy-giving as before, and we take our last breath from polluted lungs, and our soul/our energy, that we were born with, unchanging in amount, changes states of being.  Elders will tell you that that energy waits for the conception of one of their kin, and that child will carry that energy.  That is such a lovely way of thinking.  I have come to believe this.  Samsara!

Understanding this and living and believing it, right to my marrow, helps me deal with grief.  As Christians, we are supposed to be comforted by believing in a next life, a heaven, etc. But that heaven will not come until after a long sleep.  I prefer to think of exchange of energy.  If we believed this, how much would we love all children, any kind, color, identity because some of our beloved's energy could be part of them?  Samsara!



I chose to use a brown envelop I painted for sending off a homemade art journal I am making for a stranger for some Happy Mail.   I love this old lady...  I paint all my outgoing mail.  I have done many attempts at painting 'elderly sisters' and this is my new favorite.  I am trying to leave this world with a sense of grace and am working to make sure the energy that is left of me is loving and calm.  Can you paint Samsara?  Yes, you can!

©Carol Desjarlais 9.27, 2019