Satisfaction Versus Happiness

"you have so much

but we are always hungry for more

stop looking up at everything you do not have

and look at everything you do

where satisfaction lives"

-the sun and her flowers - rupi kaur

Somewhere between memory and new happenings in our lives, is happiness.  As we age, it takes less to make us happy.  We tend to begin to know we want to have a happy ending rather than a sad, angry, depressed one. 

We have things that can have us feel depressed; you know, finances, living arrangements, health, losses...everyday normal things for our age.  We have wrinkles and sags and bags, weakening things, dribbling things, leaky eyes, forgetfulness and failing eyesight, stumbles, falls.  There are no end to things we have to deal with.  All we have that we can keep constant is our attitude towards it all.  Happiness, they say, increases our longevity.  But, wait, some of us do not want longer.  We feel done.  We are having a struggle to keep a positive attitude about future things when we already feel near crippled by our present.  We might forego happiness for just finding we are able to feel satisfied.  Perhaps we forego our past connotations of happiness and are really clamoring for satisfaction.  Perhaps we blink past unhappy things in order to focus more on the positive.  Perhaps we know that we do not have many happy years left, so we are satisfied with just simple pleasures.  I know I am refusing negativity as much as possible;  this includes criticisms, judgments, those who think I am too dumb to figure out things for myself ( i.e.:  this is bad for you... yadda yadda posts on Face book.  I am filtering better. 

One myth I have debunked for self, and probably others, is that Old Age is The Golden age... and we get happier with age.  I think we figure out more realistic goals and we are better at filtering out dark things.  Attitude:  It is all about attitude.  No one can make us feel anything we do not want to feel, even the thoughts of our Evil Inner Witch/Ego.  We should not expect what we expected in our earlier ages.  Hopefully, we have all matured beyond the teenaged year's mentality.  I think we adjust better once we realize that there will always be pain, aches, losses, etc.  And we know our body is wearing out.  What did we expect?  I think a main focus now, especially for me, is to maintain a good emotional balance. 

Emotional balance has a whole lot to do with expectations.  For instance, take sleeping changes.  If we are awake at 2 am, what is the difference?  There is no law about resting in the afternoon to re-gather our energy.  Do not just lay there and let your EIW do the thinking.  Get up, take a drink, do some research, watch a movie, whatever it takes to lull you back to rest.  We do not have to work at 8, 9, am.  We have options. 

And, as far as past stuff, well, there are things from the past that might need a reckoning day.  I have just moved into my month of mourning and longing.  Man Hands died on August 27, so for this month, I honor him.  I am more quiet.  I am honoring my feelings of loneliness for him, my sense of loss, my sense of everything about keeping myself in an honoring-sense of mind.  We should all look at death, if we are Christian, as a happy birthday elsewhere.  Yes, I am honoring my half-ness for I will never be who I was before August 27th.  I accept that.  So, in part, I am honoring my losses and in part I am honoring his life with me.  There is a dearness and a closeness felt in doing such.  I have no choice, right?  So, I adjust my thoughts when I am feeling pitiful and accepting what IS.  I walk a different walk on a different journey.

So, regain your footing.  Do things that satisfy you.  Make sure your satisfaction heights are realistic.  Change your idea about what you need, want, and what adventure might mean to you.  Rebuke past negatives.  Nothing in heaven or on earth will change any of it.  it is over.  Give it up and focus on building your attention attitude towards what can make you happy/satisfied.