“The moment will arrive when you are comfortable
with who you are, and what you are– bald or old or fat or poor, successful or
struggling- when you don't feel the need to apologize for anything or to deny
anything. To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength.”
― Charles Handy
― Charles Handy
Do you realize what
makes you unique? It is your authentic
soul. If you do not feel at home in your
own skin, then you may have abdicated your authenticity for something other
than Soul-Self. What is it about you
that leaves a lasting impression on others?
Are we all cut-out paper dolls with different dresses? Have we become so like others that we do not
stand out? I, for one, do not ever want
to be the bleating sheep amongst other bleating sheep. It is part of my identity to NOT blend
in. To even dress in a way common to
most goes against my grain, my authentic self.
I had to learn
to accept self, however self expressed itself.
Conformity was never part of who I have been. I have something special to offer as a gift
back to the world, to Creator. I have
developed a deeper sense of who I am, by not completely conforming, by being
authentic.
Every decision
we make must come from authentic self, not Ego self, not because you are
conforming. It can be difficult because
in some ways we must conform to society, to culture, to certain other areas in
our life. It is a fine balance and to
make the wisest decisions, we have to truly know who we are, what we absolutely
need, where we want to be. To be
comfortable in your own skin, you have to develop stronger sense of authentic
Self. When we are true to ourselves, we do not have to sweat making
decisions. I know I struggle with
this. I can break out in a sweat when I
have to make decisions that are important to me. I need my immediate actions and reactions to
come from a strong sense of Self and who I am and where I want to be. I need to have such a strong sense of self
that my subconscious is allowing its authenticity. My whole identity will be authentic so I do
not need to sweat.
When we have
trouble making deep connections with others, when we stumble and choose people
to be around that are not worthy of us, when we are discouraged by others point
of view about us, when we are being belittled or being badgered by others to be
other than we are, we have to remember we are adult. We need to develop relationships with those
who see us as rare and beautiful soul.
We need to be around people who are not rebelling just to rebel against
society, etc. We need to be around those
who have proven they can be trusted with our soul. We need genuine people in our tribe. We need people who encourage us to walk
towards new possibilities no matter what the EIW says. We need thriving people who help us
thrive. These kinds of people love even
our skin. They will feel like
"HOME" to us because we feel at home to ourselves.
We will feel at
home in our skin when we realize our worth.
Our inner thoughts of inadequacy and failure and being not enough,
erodes sense of self. I posted a gif
yesterday about a butterfly not feeling guilt that it was a caterpillar. Yes, we transform. Yes, sometimes we fail sometimes we
succeed. Why do we focus on our
failures? Why do we focus on past self
when we are no longer that person? I am
not that person I was a moment ago. I am
relearning how to deepen this new sense of self. I broke August 27th, 2005. I have been rebuilding myself since then,
slowly but surely. I know I had value
before. I know I have more value now
that I have learned what not to pay attention to. We reap what we sow, yes? My confidence is building. My self-confidence is building again. I am grateful for so many more things. I refuse to do things that overwhelm me,
until I can gain control over self enough to do them. Tiny steps, betimes. I work hard on the thoughts, the actions, the
reactions, to life and its events, so that I come from a positive frame of
mind. I am learning to shrug off
criticisms that I should not own. I,
constantly, question what is right for me, what I need to change, and who I
need to be in new situations. I am
weeding out the old weeds that kept me from thriving. I am glorifying the events that happen that
push me to thrive. (i.e.: my paternal families finding me in this great
big world and how wonderful it feels to have contact with both maternal and
paternal birth families. What a blessing
it is to my soul.) I am offering my help
with another adopted DNA cousin so he might find this wholeness as well. It is, in valuing my worth that I become more
worthy. I feel a purpose. I know my part
in that purpose. I give back what I
receive. That is my worth...well, part
of my sense of worthiness and worth.
Knowing what is
your inner self, your authentic self, puts your life in better balance and you
can take the hard times, the times you don't succeed, into yourself and learn
the lesson more easily. People who are
on the same path will be attracted to you.
Water finds its level. We are mostly water. I can buy that thought. When we are working on building our Inner
connection to soul, we become more confident.
It will show. You will be more
willing to step out of your norm and begin growing soul more deeply. Your path will be easier to discern. You will make decisions based on authentic
soulful self. You will feel at home in
your skin. I wish you this,
sister-friends. I wish us all this!
©Carol
Desjarlais 7.22.19
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