Breathe, Balance, Bloom

 

 

 

“If we do not love ourselves unconditionally, we won’t have the capacity to love others unconditionally.” - Tanya Porter

Love we receive or give out are all given or received through a filter of our emotions.  That is huge.  …filtered through our emotions…  We would never accept love from someone who is not genuine and we know it.   We can feel no Joy unless we feel Joy within.  We can feel no Peace unless we feel Peace within.  We can feel no Love unless we know Self-Love.  So how do we do it…how do we get to the very crux of our personality, our heart, our soul, and find ways to snuff out negative Self-talk?

Face it.  We put on a mask of living well-lived life with much aplomb.  We slap a smile on our face and exit our front door to face the day’s chaos.  We are wearing our best matched clothes and comfortable shoes and think we will make a mark on the world for that day.  We head for our new vehicle, unlock it and are about to get in, when the mask slips.  We spend then next hour driving to our destination, distraught, determined to get hold of ourselves, and driving near blind from tears we dare let flow when there is no one to see.  We arrive, flip down the visor mirror, check out ruined makeup, pat our hair down, straighten our shoulders, paste the mask back on, slap a smile on, and pretend we are ok, again.  Then life gets in our way and we have a melt-down to end all melt-downs because now there is a bunch of piled-up gloom and grief and grind and it all breaks through the ‘damn’ and we give away our authentic self.  And then we move into self-loathing.  How dare we let others know how we truly feel?  Now we will expect other’s pity. We cannot stand pity.  We will shove away any consolation.  We are a ruined mess.  We hate ourselves. We run off to a bathroom or a private place to get ourselves together again to keep pretending we are a balanced person who has their ducks in a row.  The ducks are waddling behind in utter chaos at not being gathered and groomed.  They await another break in the dam. 

If we do not love ourselves physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, we are doomed to never know complete and utter Love, Joy, Peace.

Once in a while we need to sit ourselves down and give ourselves a good talking too.  Is this how you want the rest of your life to be?  Then change it!  Only you can!

Not ever has been one person perfect for this world.  Not one!  They might bushwhack some of us, for a time, but, eventually, their truth comes out.  No one is perfectly perfect for this world.  We were made flawed.  We were made vulnerable.  We were made with the gift of every emotion there is.  We were made with bodies that will wear out and die.  We were made out with a mind that can get cluttered and then decluttered, and then cluttered again.  We were made with souls and not perfect souls.  Our souls are a growing and maturing as we do.  Our emotions, if flawed, leave flaws in our soul.  We can grow up in body, but not in heart or soul.  Our ‘stinking thinking’ can affect every segment of the Medicine wheel that is our life:  Physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual.  We were meant to grow in balance.  We were not supposed to be flat tires that thump thump thump along in life in just one of the quadrants.  We need puffing up sometimes and we need deflation some times.  We can hit bumps in the road that flatten a part of us.  It is up to us to seek refilling.  Nothing outside of us can totally inflate us.  Nothing outside of us can totally heal us.  We can become physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually flattened.  When one cannot love oneself, we are, in a sense, crippled.

We are made to be kind, to be loving…to accept kindness and love.  We should be as kind and considerate, as caring and compassionate, first and foremost, with ourselves.    You are of great value to the world, whether you know how that is, or not.  You were created for a purpose and what purpose is, we cannot know…but we can sense it, if we are balanced and fully blooming.  We deserve to feel love and to love ourselves for the Divine Within that abides in us.  Sometimes we have to have serious and uncomfortable talks with ourselves.  Why are we accepting less than we deserve?  Do not let Ego ( the Lizard brain/the Evil Inner Witch) tell us we are anything other than here to be an answer to an ancestor’s prayers.  It does not mean the road we travel, the very soil we grow in, will be kind or loving towards us.  We can only nurse and give greater love to ourselves.  The pursuit is not outside of us.  The pursuit is within.  Pursue joy.  Pursue ways to love ourselves before all else.  In truly loving ourselves there is the transferable gift of being able to truly love others.  Breathe love, be blanced, bloom.

©Carol Desjarlais 4.23.22