Thursday, August 30, 2018

August 30 - Transformation of knowing Self and the Divine




Sometimes we feel like we have been abandoned.  Sometimes we may feel like we have been left behind.  There is something huge in feeling loved by ancestors, or guardians, or spirit guides, or beloved goddesses, or God-male, or God-feminine.  It all depends on how we look at it.

Once, the goddess(es) were felt and sisters, in those times, felt comfort drawn from the Feminine All.  Religions displaced her with a wrathful male god. They effectively attempted to erase the birthing of the world that had to come from the feminine.  We know that things are born of the feminine, even Jesus was birthed by the feminine, so it is logical that Mother Earth was as well.  When we are shut iut from our maternal love, wise love, we can wander lost to many spiritual events and sense of care and compassion and wisdom, IMHO.  I believe we need to study, to attempt to reconnect to that divine maternal love.  I, for one, know the primal wound of mother and child 'breast closeness', and know the affects right to my bones.  It is no wonder I seek the transformative wise love of reconnecting to maternal wisdom and love at a spiritual level.

Love, sometimes, means being thrown into a fire.  It can break us forever, break us for a while, or have us rise like a phoenix from the fire of hard life down here on earth.  By connecting to the information ion the goddesses, I have come to a place of self-respect.   (Sometimes too emboldened in my rule of being respected, whether I deserve it or not, I might add.)  Connecting tomy deepest self has taken three years after my grieving, and I am not back to who I was, and may never be.  I am hoping I am to a new level of myself: A better version. 

I could have become bitter and standoffish.  I could have been full of anger and dissatisfaction.  I could have remained closed to what life might have to offer.  I am learning what is true of myself.  I am learning what is true of others.  There are so many layers of Self.  It takes courage to peel off the layers of in-authentic Self.  It takes integrity in the Present.  It means to allow oneself to be vulnerable.  To dare:  to risk;  And, to make mistakes and, therefore, try again.  It means going inside and finding your personal connection with something higher than Self/Ego.  I chose to study, research and make truth to those things I truly believed, in my very gut, rather than be spoon-fed what my spirit should believe and have faith in.  Bottom line, I had to have faith in myself.  Having the understanding of the goddesses, truly helped me.  You might have some other ways of knowing and believing and I truly wish you to seek that, as long as it sustains you, for the long climb home.

If we are suppressing our nurturing of others, if we do more for Self than others, if we project our dependence on something, someone or someplace else, we have yet to connect deeper.  IMHO.  I do not come to this ideology lightly.  I studied and got my Bachelors and many more pieces of paper that began to lead me to a wonderful career where I worked and was driven to know for myself , then taught other women and youths, and I have had it shown time and time again, that to remain static and closed means to not be healed and we will find ourselves back at the same old, same old, again and again, until we get the lesson.  I know our purpose down here on earth is to live fully, authentically, ourselves and honoring the Divine ( by whatever name you call this) and to be in a loving relationship with Self, others, and the Creator.   The Goddess image helps me understand and honor the Divine within me.  I wish this for you.

Blessed Be!

©Carol Desjarlais 8.30.18

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