Deadly Drama

"My life is an upward search – moving stubbornly toward the light – and you can come along with me, or I'll see you later," - E. Gilbert

Sometimes we just WANT to feel victimized, when, truly, there is no drama, and so we create drama, because we think that is normal.  I have way, been one who worked well under pressure, in the past. Not anymore.  I wear out now.  It is the unconscious drama-making that gets us into trouble.  Some of us learn to self-sabotage ourselves without being aware that we do it.  We can create problems by being in too much of a rush; by not being consciously thinking about what we are doing.  This can create bigger problems. 

Sometimes our chaos-maker is within. We allow our evil inner witch (voice) to do a great deal of negative self-talk.  The voice is one from our childhood.  It can become a dark cloud hanging over us, creating shadow on perfectly good days.  We may even interpret what others say and do in that shadow we have created and we can have a great deal of miscommunication.  God, I know these things.  We follow along under that shadow, or dark cloud, and we can end up interpreting even awesome things in negative ways that were never meant.  We truly have to keep note of our inner voice.  It belongs to the lizard brain and in keeping track, and changing that talk, we can quiet it. 

We need to ask ourselves if we act in aggressive ways rather than assertive ways.  How do we come across to others?  Has anyone said to you that you sound angry when you did not think you were?  It can cause conflict where conflict was not intended.  I am guilty of this.  I get stressed and I get more adamant-sounding.  Yes, it causes unnecessary drama.

Do we see things as worse than they are and do not realize that we create what others think is drama?  Do you have more negative thinking and outlook than you do positive?  I work hard not be a whiner, or to share too much of my negativity.  Grief taught me some good lessons.

Type A personalities can be tough.  We do too much in too short a time.  We get so busy that we can snap at one more request.  We can get irritable if things are not in order (our order), or if things do not go the way we thought they should.  Lord, catch me in the moment the computer goes awry and I am concentrating on a thousand different things and one more just cannot be added.  I can break out in a sweat if my house is messy, or I have a disorderly area haunting me.  Stress is my nemesis.  I reach 'cup all full' really quickly because I always have lists of things and things to do in my head.  Lord help me if I get behind on that invisible list.

Chronic rescuers are another type who can create drama in their lives so they can "fix" people, places and things.  They are also ones who believe they are victims of some kind, forever.  We feel like people, places, and things can save them, when, in reality, we know that we can only save ourselves.

Then there are the Bully personalities that try to force change on others.  They are emotional sap suckers.  They find weaknesses in others so that they can judge them and it, somehow, sickly, makes them feel better about themselves.  They are toxic and can drain a positive person immensely.  They live the rule:  Hurt people hurt people". You can only expect the same old, same old, from them and you must weight things closely so that you can either walk beside them, cheering for them as they change, or you can walk away. 

Within the Bully personality, there can be passive aggressive bullies, who will slam you every chance they get, yet call you friend.  They criticize, blame, and attempt to control.  We can allow it ( the victim role), or we cannot allow it.  Just say "NO!"

Somehow, we need to tame our Inner child (a stomp foot, or weep and wail thing, it is).  I seek those areas in my life.  I know they are there.  I have to be mature and curb the negatives.  Let us all try to fill our soul with dignity and grace.  Let us be kind, compassionate, serving, and give out positive energy in a world full of negative energy.  I need it, you need it, and the world needs it. Let us love ourselves so lovely that we absolutely know we are all enough and we refuse drama of any kind; of our own making, or others.

©Carol Desjarlais 8.29.17