I am sure you have all heard the new age jargon about “Inner Child”. I think that the definition is unique with everyone who uses it. It can be used as “the devil made me do it!” incidents. It can be used as “being mischievous”, “being moody”, being needy”, etc. I see mine as a little gnome goading me, reminding me to laugh, and, sometimes, a little sad. It does inspire and sometimes, when I am painting, it delights in the play. I refuse to let it be a troubled child, but sometimes, it leaks out and I am prone to want to throw some kind of tantrum, and causing all sorts of drama if I let it. Sometimes, it influences me be defensive, and I feel it and try to deny it. It is not my common self (I was going to say ‘normal’, but that would be pushing it). Yes, it can be obnoxious and sometimes it can be ‘mouthy’. I tend to have lost the fearful Inner child. I am braver now I have grown out of that aspect. It has led me to a great deal of growth, if I think hard on it. I was trained in MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) because I happened upon a student who required I know how to deal with this. I know how to help a client name the personalities and learned how to braid the personalities. This helped me in knowing how to work with my Inner child to control how it might influence me. I have named it my “Evil Inner Witch”, in the past, and as I acknowledged it, it dissipated and I tend, now to think of it as a dear little gnome, nattering away in the background. Whatever we name it, it is there, I believe, and, in so many ways, wishes to be conductor of this life of laughter, inspiration, and childhood joy. Some may feel it as a traumatized part of self, and learning to seek out the innocence and the pure joy at being free and carefree, is key to a balanced healed life.
There are some things that really bring out that innocent, joyful, Inner Child. I experienced such this summer when I was in Alberta and my sons’ Gnome House was brought in, roof first, on to a hidden little valley at their resort. As we watched them bring in the rest of the cottage and set it up, complete with toadstools around a fire, with digital lighting, with birdhouses, and gnarled trees around the environment, something stirred within. It immediately influenced my Inner gnome.
Sometimes we need to get past our sense of life being difficult, and we become tired of adulting. Seek things that bring out that ‘joie de vivre’. Sometimes we need to quiet that snarling cynical self and work towards be more positive. Find the humor, find the way to unburden your inner thought processes.
Make something beautiful. Remake something. Find some DIY projects and give it a go. Lose yourself on your patio. Stare at a blossom. Watch animals at play. See the humor in simple things. Laugh at yourself.
Look for miracles and the wonders in every day living. Watch clouds take forms. Play with your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren. Teach them to play some games you remember from your childhood.
When I was at my youngest son’s for a week, playing with the triplets plus 4, I taught the triplets and Teo to make secret forts in the tall grass. We played for nearly an hour until they made their own and started wars. LOL! Oh, we laughed and I so enjoyed their wonder and play between fishing.
I have been, purposefully, finding ways to play with my Inner Gnome to get her to be and stay positive. Imagine staying at this Gnome House at my sons’ resort. I am pretty sure you would find your Inner Gnome staying here.
Not even a mom can squeak in a night or two as this one is already rented for a couple of years. I will have to wait for the other 99 to be built, methinks.
Whatever it takes to find that Inner Gnome, find it, enjoy it, encourage it, and be as authentically joyful as you can be in doing so.
©Carol Desjarlais 9.9.20
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