We are not Broken

 

 

“You are not broken.  You are becoming.”

– Bianca Sparacino – The Mind Journal.

 

Let’s make a deal, between us all, that we will not ever say we are “broken” again.  Yes, there is a length of time after a cruel incident of life, that you feel broken, because it seems, at the time, the only term to try to explain the feeling, the reaction, the abnormal things you do, think, feel, an believe when all is a blur, big time. When your whole psyche shuts down and you know you are no longer who you were; when everything is frightening, concerning, numb, and full of shock; when sorrow is so deep you could drown in it; when emotional pain outweighs any physical pain you have ever felt… ‘broken’ is the term that might come to mind.  But that was then, in the past, and now you are not.  We are patched up, like bone, stronger than before.

I have found that many religions and spiritual groups focus on our brokenness, our sinning, our guilty, our shameful, in need to someone else to fix, to forgive, to free, to redeem in order for renewal and resurrection.  So many dangle a carrot that only they can help you reach because they suppose we cannot get it ourselves.  They validate, thieve, work on our vulnerabilities they conditioned us with in the first place.  They have to make us believe we are not worthy, not enough, completely nothing without their doctrine, rules, and declarations.   Many of us grew up believing were born wrong, dirty, evil and are worthless of their high and glorious selves if we do not buy into their doctrine.  We are led to believe we are broken even in birth.  If we do not believe in their faith, are faithful to IT, we are hopeless.  I could not bear to follow like a flea-bitten dog, continuing to believe the worst of myself and my children, those I loved as continuing to need their fixing.

Life is wounding.  And we all bear the scars of living.  The longer we live, the more scars.  We might have cracked in a few places, but we, and I mean each of us, figured out how to patch things up and keep going, long strides into our future, with love and compassion for ourselves and others on our journey.  We are seriously survivors, overcomers and thrivers.  We have problems.  We might show our wounds in different ways.  But we are here and here we are. 

We are not puzzles to be figured out.  We know how to stay down until we can rise.  We know how to rise.  We know how to dust ourselves off and keep going.  WE are miracles.  Every one of us.  That our very genes survived these myriads of generations, makes us miracles.  We are constantly renewing and reviving.  We are constantly working on ourselves in some way. 

We own our own spirituality.  We need no intercessors.  We can commune with what we feel is a higher power; the one or many that we believe shows us the way when we get the feeling that we are a little lost. We are in search of ourselves; our perfect creation; for who we are is who we are meant to be, or who we are is meant for us to work on by ourselves, or with good reliable people who believe in us;  in our goodness, and grace and divinity. 

I believe we are all in a trajectory towards something bigger, better, in something beyond imagining.  We are simply to be here, in the now, and make it worth something that we are.  I believe that we are nothing but pure love with human frailties that we work on to overcome, in our own way.  We are to wonder, to wander, to explore and to experiment with ways of our being so that we might be the best we are meant, or can, be.  We are not broken.  We are on a really tough journey, stumbling along to something we can not absolutely know that is the end of our time here.  Rather than buy into snake oil manipulations we are persuaded by because we fear.  We cannot maintain our beautiful self if we fear what we do not know.  We are not cripples; not physically, intellectually, emotionally or spiritually.  Life will try to cripple us but we are miraculous beings.  We find ways to carry on in spite of it all and we turn our wounds into gifts.    We are not defective.  We are learning every moment of every day that we are truly miracles and, each of us, to someone, a gift.  We are human and healing. We love.  We remain.  That is our grace and our divinity. We are perfectly who we are right this moment.  We are precious.  We carry ancient knowing within us.  We carry the very DNA of First Woman within us.  We are holy.

Someone wrote:

You are not broken, you are healing.

You are not lost, you are seeking.

You are not stuck, you are exploring.

You are not overthinking, you are learning. 

 

Let us try to remember all this and let the chatter fall to the wayside of our journey.  Take what fits your beautiful soul and let the rest go its own way.

 

©Carol Desjarlais 9.13.24