Remembering to Remember

 

 

“I use memories but do not allow memories to use me.” –  Shiva Sutras

 I have begun to realize that many memories are coming to me. Some things I have not thought of in forever.  I said, not long ago, “I hope, when I get dementia, ( my genes suggest a long life and losing my memories) that I do not start reliving negative memories.  So, I am consciously and unconsciously dredging up good memories. 

Memories are very pearls of great price as we age.  I am finding that my memories re more filled out, with all the senses coming in to play.  I am sure that memories com more often because of the senses.  A smell will remind me of mother and then memories of mother come clearer and more often.  A sound will remind me of a memory, like how the click of opening a pop can reminded someone close to me, that he used to love beer. Then memories of him come into play. A sight will click memory into replaying.  A feeling, a taste…all seem to bring heightened memories.

My memories are as unique to me as yours are to you.    The memories speak to my history, and can be relived thoroughly.    Sometimes a memory helps me cope.  When I am sad about losses, the good memories of them kick in and I am on to a walk down memory lane.  I push away a negative memory and fore myself to remember the positives.  And, as I age, I have more time to think/to remember.  I have so many experiences from the past because I have so many years behind me.  Perhaps life is all about just collecting memories. 

Memories can be so comforting.  Reflection is a gift.  As I become more isolated, with less energy, and fewer opportunities to go out and make new adventures, the older memories spur me on.  They remind me how blessed I have been.  How lucky.  How full a life I have lived collecting those memories.  They remind me, of course, of all the energy I once had, but leave me with fully pleasant feelings because I really have had a life of adventure, after all.  It makes me proud of myself.  It makes me love myself even more.  It helps me be almost fully present with those who have gone by the wayside, who have gone on to other journeys, who have passed on.  I have been greatly loved and have greatly loved in return. 

I am still making memories and I am making sure to be more fully Present, so that they stick with me.  I am more focused on having great adventures.  I am collecting treasures for later.  You, too?

©Carol Desjarlais 9.5.24