When the clock struck midnight, hopefully, we have had time to rflect on the last year and found a way to begin 2024 with a clean slate. This is the time to put the lessons learned, in 2023, to work. There are so many uncertainties. We have been challenged in so many ways for the last years of covid. We are in constant flux of hearing one thing and learning the opposite. The world is in chaos. Everything is in social, political, environmental turmoil. There is racial violence and it has caused people to be angry and to act out fear in aggressive ways. People in war torn places are grieving and terrified. We need to remember we are talking about human beings, the same as we are, and life is precious on all sides. It is time to reflect and come up with ways we can change the world around us. We are powerless to do else.
In our own world, spce, we are grieving too, all in different ways, over different kinds of losses. Lat year was a rough one for me for the lat half of the yar. Losing my oldest daughter called for great transitions. All of us, over the ladt three years have lost a great deal; physically, intellctually, emotionally, asnd spiritually. Our “Norm” is no longer one we recognize.
Loss cause chsnge. Fear (even unconscious) causes change. We have transitioned into different culture, different ways of thinking about things, ways to NOT think about things. We are being demanded of to change. We ake mistakes. We do not like who we havebecome, many of us, as we move into the emotional angr that is th easiest to express, when, really, we are fear-based.
As you reflect on last year, in order to not have excess baggage in this new year, consider how we/you have changed, in the four quadrrants of life: physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual. How did you grow from it? Considering it all helps to motivste us to change more too meet the changes around us.
I used to tell my kdis not to say they were sorry but to show they were sorry. We need to do the same with deaing with old stuff in orde to mvoe in a more positive way through this year. Show gratitude. Understanding the WHY of things, helps lead us to compassion and compssion leas u to more trasitioning. There is goodness in every human being..even those we judge not worthy. Finding the things we should be grateful for, helps us be more positive and get more closure.
Be true to your own values. As Garhen says, No judgement!” Listening to him talk last night was empowering. Life has to be meaningful to each of us in different ways and knowing what you truly value spurs us on to more living without judgements. Garhen says to Observe, not judge. I realized that I judge all the time. I do not just observe. We can say, “This happened.” And not say, “because”” and make our own assumptions according to how we judge it. I judge myself and my art all the time… probably constantly. So today, I am trying to be more aware of judgements so that I can begin to change that in me.
As we all say goodbye to 2023, we need to honor 2023 by making observations about what happened to each of us. We lose people. We lose daughters, we lose parents, we lose sweethearts… I dealt with the loss of my daughter in a whole different way. It is womb deep grief, even though I never gave birth to her. We went on a cruise; we went to Yuma (my favorite place on earth) and even that was a blur of memories of the two great losses in my life. 2023 will never be remembered by the trips. It will ever remain the year I lost my daughter. It has changed me. I feel even more protective of other six children; protective of their love and more expressions of love so that they know without a doubt I love them. I have another daughter who lives in constant crises and we may not hear from her for years, literally. I had tough-loved it many years ago and told her I did not want her to call me when she was high or drunk. She honored that, much to my concern and sorrow. But I have heard from her New Year’s morning. She sounded like my daughter once again. I live on the edger of losing her every night when I say my prayers. These next few nights, I will not expect impending doom. It certainly will boost 2024 just because, for a few minutes on the telephone, she was my girl again. Perhaps that will be my definition of 2024, “The year my middle daughter contacted me on New Year’s morning.”
May we all have a gentler year. May we learn to let life happen as it should. May we be exactly where we are supposed to be. May we find peace and love by having that to offer to the world.
Hello 2024. Pleased to meet you.
©Carol Desjarlais 1.2.24
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