Oh, they are a good idea, and oh so lofty and good, but the love for them peters out within the first few weeks, if not days. Do not make a resolution to break or make a habit just because culture is suggesting you should. Do not try to eat an elephant all at one time. Change things in your environment that will help you achieve success. Watch for saboteurs, even self. Make little changes that better fit what you hope to achieve. Keep track of how it is going. Know some things are out of your control. Keep trying.
Is now the time, personally, for you to begin a new habit? I tell you that I am not going for long leisurely walk when it is 23 below and blowing snow. Not going to happen. So, if I am putting down a walk a day, I am done already. Be realistic.
Be sure to break into the new habit. Do not try to conquer the world in one day. Don’t decide to walk a 4K marathon the day after New Years. Learn to walk the front walk for a time and expand on it for next year’s marathon. Anyway, I am not walking any marathon ever. I am lucky to walk to the mail once a month.
Look, we all know, sometimes willpower is not enough. We are basically procrastinators and that’s why we are trying to set up some motivation in the first place. Dieting is a favorite resolution and, if the cupboards are full of goodies, well,… first you should go through your cupboards and ditch the calorie wasters. I have the opposite problem. I have to eat calories but avoid sugars and starch and it is a life-threatening thing for me. Think I can stick to it? No… I am having trouble eating anything, allergic to soy, hate chalky drinks, hate chocolate, cannot digest salads… and I have to try to hit bare minimum of 700 calories a day. I struggle every day to eat enough. If walking is a goal, make sure you walk in places that inspire you, interest you, not ten times around the house. Change your environment to fit your needs.
We all need cheerleaders. There will always be saboteurs. People do not like to see us change. If we change, they have to change to meet our changes. We never have to defend ourselves, nor even tell that we have set a goal or intention. If change is noticed, you only need to tell the minimum. If others are uncomfortable, that is their choice. You need people who will support you whole-heartedly and those true and faithful are the ones to choose to tell.
Don’t be too rigid about what you hope to achieve. If you fail, give yourself credit for the time you made it and start again to make it even longer. Life has its way of getting in the way. You can even try setting the goal for a few days at a time just to see ow well it works for you. This will also give you an idea how to modify the goal so it fit better in your life. It should not be hard hard work. There should feel like joy in any accomplishment made.
You can keep track of your achievement. An unlabeled graph can sit in a place of your own notice so that you can see change. You can use post-it-notes on your bathroom mirror so you see a reminder first thing in the morning. For instance, I choose a word of something I want to work on and a note on the mirror reminds me. I write the word on my dry board and in my day planner.
And there will be days…days when you absolutely cannot do it, cannot fake it, and cannot make it. Life is going to get in the way. Make sure it is not your Ego trying to sabotage you, though. It is easy to find an excuse and it is tough to find the will some days. Changing our behavior can be discouraging. When you hit the floor, stay there for a bit and contemplate how it happened before you jump back up, dust yourself off, and get going on it again.
You can do anything you choose to do, in some fashion and not necessarily exactly how you envisioned it. Happy New Year, now go choose a word that will encompass your main theme for the year to work on. Aging takes courage, so mine is courage. Last year taught me a whole lot about courage and this year I want to be prepared. It is written everywhere already because I want to get one day’s head start.
©Carol Desjarlais 12.31.23
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