First off, I do not believe in ghosts as defined, but
I do believe in spirits, good spirits. I
believe in signs from elsewhere. I
believe that there are guardian angels ( not with wings and things, but they
look like wings but are the pull of light through one realm to another. I believe in some being born with an old
spirit. I do know there are some things
that cannot be explained. I, also,
believe in types of guardian angels.
Sometimes we may have hair stick out at the back of our
neck and it seems to be just an anomaly but it is definitely a sensation that
can be uncomfortable at times. I was
once taught to know “watchers” , the Medicine Man and head of Native Studies at
the University of Lethbridge, who said I needed to really recognize such. He had taken a special interest in me and
what I was driven to develop for Educational thematic Curriculum that I would
use to retrieve troubled native youth in troubled native communities. He was an amazing teacher and I became his
willing student to be sure. He said that
I would be challenged as I moved in to do good things with Native Education and
that it would not always be people. One
morning, I took my kids to the U of L daycare.
It was just coming dawn and I had an early class. I parked and took my kids in but when I
parked, there was only one other vehicle, a truck, in the parking area. I felt uncomfortable, but got back in the vehicle,
after dropping the kids off, and drove down to my usual parking area closer to
the doors that led to the tunnel.
Because I was feeling something uncomfortable, I decided NOT to walk
through the tunnel down to the atrium. I
walked the long way down inside the levels of the University. Each floor I walked;
I would see that man. It gave me the
heebie jeebies. I went
into the to cafeteria, got my coffee, and went to sit at our usual spot close
to the exit areas of the cafeteria. When
I went to sit at our usual gathering area, there was a guy sitting there. He was wearing a feather down coat, looked
like a worker in work boots and definitely did not fit in to the usual student
characterization. He was rough looking
and hair stood up on the back of my neck as I sat down in the same area. I had ben told, by the Medicine Man, that
when you get the sensation of a “watcher” nearby, to never ever look them in
the eyes. I did not feel comfortable
sitting with my back to him, but I was eerily aware of him staring at me constantly. I waited for the rest of my usual morning
group to come and a constant prickling sense overtook me and I got up and
moved. When I finished my coffee, and no
one else, but him, were there, I decided to go up to the computer lab and work
on my computer presentation that I was struggling with. I found an open computer station and sat down
to work. A few others came in and I was just
getting in to an intent part of making a windmill that moved, using coding, so
I did not pay attention to them. Suddenly
someone spoke, “go see Professor ______”.
I turned and said, aloud, “What?”
A Native student near me, looked at me in surprise, and suspicion, and
said, “What? I didn’t say anything!” It was weird but I had to get that danged
assignment done. I kept working but a
voice in my head got louder and louder, “Go see Professor ____” (the Medicine
Man who was the head of Native American Studies). I
tried to talk myself out of it. I could
not. It go more adamant. I finally gave in to what I thought was me
being overly dramatic, and went up to Professor ___’s Offices. I thought he might not be there that early,
but there he was. I entered his door
with a kick knock, and he said, “I have been waiting for you. You recognized him.” I had to sit down; I was so blown away. There is more to the story, but Professor ___
had taught me to know watchers and I had.
I had been taught to be aware of sensations that were warning me or that
would lead me to follow my intuitions.
Another lesson I was taught, in this way, was about
Deja Vue, that sense that comes over you that you have done this thing, seen
this thing, before. I was taught that
this feeling was a way the ancestors let us know we are on the right track/path/making
a right choice. We are all the answer to
an ancestor’s(s) prayers”. We have a purpose
we cannot know but will be given signals for.
Another time, I was driving down a lonely side highway
towards home. I had been to the city and
I had just the three older kids in the backseat of the car. We had driven two hours on the main highway
and this side highway was a shortcut to home.
Suddenly a sort of thought came into my head, it said, “Stop the car and
tell the kids you love them!” I tried to
ignore it, it got louder. Stop the
car and tell your kids you love them!”, and finally, “STOP THE CAR AND
TELL THE KIDS YOU LOVE THEM!” I could no
longer ignore it. I pulled over and
stopped and turned to each child and looked them directly in the eye and said,
I LOVE YOU!” No explanation, just intently
told each one of them. I started up the
car and headed on. I was waiting for a
reason for why I had been demanded to tell them that. Was there going to be an accident? Was something horrible going to happen to
us? Nothing happened. I could have ignored the incident to me being
dramatic or something, but I knew better, some how. I learned not to question those kinds of
signals. Some times we receive messages,
out of the blue, and we might wonder where those come from. It will be personal and meaningful to
you. Is this a message from a guardian angel;
some kind of direction or guidance?
When the love of my whole life was diagnosed and then
died in 5 weeks from the fist sign of cancer of the liver, he and I were doing
some of our last conversations. He did
not believe in God nor heaven nor anything of the sort, but I said to him,
Richard, if there is another place, send me feathers in weird places. I have found feathers fall from an open sky
on to my should. I have had feathers
blow into the vehicles open window when I was driving. I have had feathers show up where no bird of
that kind of feather would be. Coincidence
or a sign?
Some people have a significance with a coin. They, too, find coins in different places at
different times. Perhaps it is a rainbow
that is somehow significant to you and is meant to affirm you, to help you know
you are being comforted, that you should have faith in such. For some, there
are symbols in the clouds. Some see and receive
images and messages in tea leaves. Some
get flashes of light, see shimmers, see orbs and know these as signs or symbols
of something beyond present day life.
The smell of peonies, the sight of peonies, immediate signal a moment
with my mother who grew magnificent peonies and they were her favorite flower. A random moment in some environment can
signal a connection to a memory of a person, place or thing. How do you explain such things?
I have an absolute personal knowledge that we are not
alone and even spooky stuff is the stuff of signs and symbols from another
place, a good and beautiful place. I am
not talking about negative senses of things, but something beautiful and
peaceful. So how DO you explain these
things?
©Carol Desjarlais 7.2.20
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