For The 'Remains' Of Your Days

All of us have been betrayed by someone we thought cared about us.  Every time…every danged time… it happens, we give our head a shake and ask ourselves how we could make such poor choices in friendships.  We are quick to blame ourselves for some lapse in relationship choices.  The reality is, we call “Friend”, those who are not and we simply put on blinders and walked part of our journey with those who will teach us good hard lessons.

We all have those friends (or THAT friend) who always seems competitive with us.  We know it.  We refuse to think of the consequences.  They seem to often (or always) find a way to dampen your joy.  This is pure toxic because everyone needs a cheerleader in their life.  If who you call friend is constantly deriding your joy at some small success, then they are toxic indeed.  Gracefully walk away and feel the relief that comes.

We all have that friend ( or friends) that know how to give and receive in equal balance.  Some ask too much of us.  Instead of uplifting, the drag us down with their constant negativity and desire to have you fix them.  We are all fixing ourselves.  Again, we need a cheerleader not a burden.  If you find you are worn out with their drama, although it is very difficult, and many of us are “fixers”, our very well-being depends on our ability to withdraw and keep on our journey without them.  Enabling is not empowering.  If we are constantly being asked to fix them, it is too much.  Water seeks its own level.  Soon we will be in need of fixing if we continue to let them suck the sap from you.  

As I said, we all need cheerleaders.  We need someone who can make us laugh, can tease our heart with joy, who bring us flowers on our saddest days, who uplift and inspire for no other reason than friendship with them is pure and authentic and safe.  We all need the kind of friend we do not have to watch everything we do with.  We need girlfriends we can whisper secrets too and know that she is a safe person and will keep all your idiosyncrasies safe from the outside world.  Mature friendships would never betray but will make beautiful that special connection you have that includes being as real as you may have ever been.  

I wish you the kind of friends that are angels in your life.  I wish you be an angel for your friends for the remains of your days.

©Carol Desjarlais 6.28.20