“Healing from trauma can also mean strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life – warts, wisdom, and all – with courage.” – Catherine Woodiwiss
It is disrespect to honor your feelings...all of them. We have both good and not good feelings but all feelings are a gift from Creator. Each incident in our life gives us opportunity to work on self. Some of us have more work, deeper work, to do. We need to own our feelings, to own our experiences, as it is them that makes us who we are, how we react, what we value, what we need next to do to thrive. We need support and care while we do so. Some of us might need professional help to flick the switch to being resilient in spite of. We may feel unworthy. We may feel that our trauma does not compare to others, so we push the feelings of our reality into the background and try to limp on. It is not weakness that we need a kickstart. It is brave and courageous and worthy work. Our whole being may be in flight, freeze, or fight mode. What do we do with those feelings that are heightened?
We can not fling the door open to our soul and let our feelings run rampant. We need safe place(s) to do the work needed. We need safe people to guide and care for us. We need comforting. Even though your evil inner witch will try to pack those feelings back and stuff them back in the dark place in our soul, we have to keep digging and bring feelings around incident(s) bit by bit, acknowledge them, feel them, love them better. We need to crack open the bulging pod , scar tissue, around woundings. We need to carefully reach in and take the mewling woundedness out and nurture an care for it until it finds its voice. The voice of my woundedness is found where I wrote my book, it is in every art piece I do, it shows up in these blogs of mine. Find a way to use the voice of your wounding(s). Let it be art, reading, handwork, carpentry, cleaning, decorating, etc.,. Do something that expresses without going into detail. We should never feel alone in all this. I doubt there is a living soul, couscous in the world, that does not have scars of woundings at some level.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to feel safe and comfortable, calm and clearly healthy? We can have that comfort in our own skin. We can be wounded warriors, peace warriors, medicine women, who raise up the child within with love and kindness, with ways that make her strong and healthy and healed. We can release resentments. We can walk away from people who are unwilling to honor us, to respect us, and who attempt to drag us back to who they want us to be. We can find new tribes that create a safe place for us to be while we heal. We can be aware so that we know when an old feeling or sensation is coming on and deal with it immediately so that it does not draw us back to being a victim. We are not victims. We are brave beautiful beings who have healed places in ourselves that others cannot understand. It can be a long lonely walk without cheerleaders. I hope that the sister friends in this group will be cheerleaders for each other. I love you. You matter. I will walk this way with you for a time while we are teacher-learner, learner/teacher. May we be a blessing to each other.
©Carol Desjarlais 27.10.23
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