More Power To You

 

 

Have you ever had a [person call you a name and you felt defensiveness rise and a thousand thousand retaliatory words and phrases explode from your mouth? 

 

I worked with troubled youth in troubled communities.  Those kids, over time, and spaces and places I worked,  called me every name in the book over the years of my career.  But I learned how to stop them in their tracks.  I would pause, take a breath, think of when I might have been, say, “a beotch”, and realize, why., yes, I certainly had.  Then I would smile.  That would take the wind right out of their sails.  No retaliation, no come back, no instigating replies... just a smile.  Perhaps it was scary to them?  Lol.

 

I learned, through epiphany, to NOT give my power away...not to react... not to let the name-caller know they got to me.  I bounced it back with that smile and kept my personal power to myself.  It was a miracle, really, for I have long been a defensive person.  I had been just handing my power over to others.

 

There will always be someone who is trying to control you.  These people are, most likely, envious, but that does not make it feel better, but you cannot let them know they got under your skin or you get to be their whipping post.

 

It can be like you have a neon button on your forehead that says, “Pick me, I’ll give it a go and make your day.  I’ll play your little game!”    It can be passive aggressive and you might not figure out what they are doing, until one day, the light comes on and you get it.  They are TRYING to get some chaos and drama going with you.  Because you are not firm with them, do not want to keep it going, but do so by reacting, sometimes you have to walk away from them.

 

At some point you may need to take a real stand.  A stand that does not give away your personal power.     You need to stop walking on eggshells around such people.  You need to stop trying to excuse their behavior towards you.  You might be hungry for approval so that you allow such to happen again and again. 

 

You get to decide who to give your power away too.  You get to take a stand for your own truths. 

 

Simply smile and say to yourself, “Why, yes I have been… and smile!  Smile!  Smile in knowing, we all have our flaws and frailties and you are no exception.  Smile, sisters.

©Carol Desjarlais 9.8.22This two-page spread is actually three pages.  I folded the middle page and made it into a triangle.  The whole project is done with collage and a stencil of a woman's face.