Corn Moon - Review, Reflect, Redo, Attune and Atone

 

 

“If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside. All of us are a complete Universe within ourselves.”- Buddha

Ah hah!  I hope we have prepared ourselves.  Emotions are going to be on high alert.  Be prepared for surprises.  You will be treading white waters of emotions and all your feelings will be raging, weeping, laughing; the highs will be high and the lows will be devastatingly low.  Pisces is dominant and you will be hyper sensitive.  Be sure to listen to your intuition.  Watch your mouth.  Your filter will be thin.  Do not let your emotions rule. 

Pisces is the wisdom of age, carries energy of the spiritual quadrant of your life, and there is almost magic in the air.  There are decisions to  be made and you must bypass all your regrets and sorrows to become what it is you are deciding to become.  Review, reflect, rewind.  Attune and atone. 

We all carry memories.  Some remember only after starting school, some remember before, some have forgotten the memories of their whole childhood.  I remember crawling on some cinders and seeing what I came to know as a snake.  I confirmed the cinders and was told they put down sod and grass when I was a year old.  I remember being 2 ½ and being stood on the hood of the car to see my mother who had had my baby brother.  The memory is sensory as I remember the flag above the hospital whipping and snapping.  I remember what she was wearing as she peered through the window and I thought her so beautiful in her black dressing gown with fuscia flowers on it.  It was confirmed because of the dressing gown color and flowers.  Those scary things, we remember.  The beautiful things we remember, but we can also remember the bad things. 

Those bad memories scar us so deeply because we did not have the words to express them, most times.    If there is emotional garbage, trauma, woundings, we can become overwhelmed and not even know why we feel that way over some stimuli that we happen upon.  You know how you can smell a smell and it reminds you of a grandparent or an early memory?  It is like that that bad memories surface from their deep dark cave as well.  Those deep dark feelings are a signal that we need to heal ourselves.  We need balance in our inner and outer world.  We can pretend, we can paint our faces, we can have the most perfect house and partyer or whatever and yet, inside there is that darkness.  We are not fooling ourselves.  We have to actually a knowledge the feelings and seek out the trigger(s). 

We have to solve the problems in our lives, to seek out where the negative emotions come from.  I realized over a year ago that my life was built around fear.  I worked on fear for the whole year and I was dumbfounded to find out that every decision I made was made from a place of fear. 

The problem with deep down fear, for instance,  being the base is that we experience resonance and attraction which means that we give off an aura of that fear we have deep inside and we draw things to fear to us.  Read that again and apply any word that expresses what is deep down emotion within you… follow that thread of feeling back to where it began.  This is hard work but healing magnifies as you truly begin to seek out reasons for feelings that you have. 

The shift that happens as you heal, changes what you resonate and what you draw to you.  The more we learn to love ourselves, the more love we give out and the more love that comes to us.  That is so empowering. 

Be aware that during this month’s moon time, your may feel out of sorts…this is coming from the Deep Within.  We can blame whatever we project to be the cause, or we can dig in and find out what is really causing that feeling.  As a Leo, my sign is truly going to be affected.  I will begin to feel vulnerable and to counteract this I must realize my strengths and the power I have within.  Once I realize the power and strength, the more I will reflect that and the more I will love myself for it.  The more I love myself for it, the more people will be affected by this self-love.  And so it goes.  I am not a ‘muddle in the puddle’ person.  I am typically a happy energetic person, but when my energy is low, and this is going to happen this moon, then I will draw such things to me to drain me.  If I explore my Deep Within, I will come to understand more of why I feel vulnerable.  The moment I begin that work, the healing begins.

I wish you a safe Corn Moon month.  I wish you the strength to seek the answers within, sometimes, the Deep Within.  I challenge you to Review, Reflect, Redo, Attune and Atone… atone means to heal... in this instance.  Make up with yourself.  Forgive yourself for resonating and attracting the negative to yourself… and then go on with your healing.  Much love, sisterfriends.

©Carol Desjarlais 9.10.22

 

 

99 Endings

 

 

 

Mercury has officially entered retrograde.  As it does, it influences how we think and the things we allow our critical inner voice/ego/lizard brain/evil Inner witch to speak to us.  It will give us reasons to blance our inner and outer self.   Tomorrow is full Moon and we best set our intentions toward balance or we will spend the next few weeks feeling emotionally imbalanced.  This moon is going to awaken our psychic and intuitive gifts and we best be prepared for it. We could be easily overwhelmed.

It is the 9^th day of the ninth month and the number 99 is all about completions, about graduations, about endings.  It is time to listen to your thoughts and deal with any conflicting areas within and without.  Perhaps it is time to make the most of relationship(s) or to end it/them.  Look at all your relationships and do a check list of both positive and negative and either get to work on the negative or you may need a different change.  Note that things are going to pile up on you if you do not stay present and if you do not deal with every issue as it comes up.  Do not throw the baby out with the bathwater.  Be self-aware and take a long look at your beliefs and values.

You may find that you have ‘hit the wall”, “burned out”, are “stressed to the max” and you cannot rest, feel bored, restless and you may feel like you are coming down with a flu but never really get sick.  This is what retrograde can feel like. 

Some questions to ask yourself, during this time, are:

What things in your life are changing?

What things within you are changing?

What choices are you having to make that go with your values and beliefs?

In what way are you progressing in life (physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually?

What minor things are you focusing on?

Are they resolvable or are you procrastinating growing with those changes?

Are you using your best coping skills to get through difficult times?

 

May we sail through this retrograde with a minimal amount of disruption. 

 

©Carol Desjarlais 9.9.22

 

More Power To You

 

 

Have you ever had a [person call you a name and you felt defensiveness rise and a thousand thousand retaliatory words and phrases explode from your mouth? 

 

I worked with troubled youth in troubled communities.  Those kids, over time, and spaces and places I worked,  called me every name in the book over the years of my career.  But I learned how to stop them in their tracks.  I would pause, take a breath, think of when I might have been, say, “a beotch”, and realize, why., yes, I certainly had.  Then I would smile.  That would take the wind right out of their sails.  No retaliation, no come back, no instigating replies... just a smile.  Perhaps it was scary to them?  Lol.

 

I learned, through epiphany, to NOT give my power away...not to react... not to let the name-caller know they got to me.  I bounced it back with that smile and kept my personal power to myself.  It was a miracle, really, for I have long been a defensive person.  I had been just handing my power over to others.

 

There will always be someone who is trying to control you.  These people are, most likely, envious, but that does not make it feel better, but you cannot let them know they got under your skin or you get to be their whipping post.

 

It can be like you have a neon button on your forehead that says, “Pick me, I’ll give it a go and make your day.  I’ll play your little game!”    It can be passive aggressive and you might not figure out what they are doing, until one day, the light comes on and you get it.  They are TRYING to get some chaos and drama going with you.  Because you are not firm with them, do not want to keep it going, but do so by reacting, sometimes you have to walk away from them.

 

At some point you may need to take a real stand.  A stand that does not give away your personal power.     You need to stop walking on eggshells around such people.  You need to stop trying to excuse their behavior towards you.  You might be hungry for approval so that you allow such to happen again and again. 

 

You get to decide who to give your power away too.  You get to take a stand for your own truths. 

 

Simply smile and say to yourself, “Why, yes I have been… and smile!  Smile!  Smile in knowing, we all have our flaws and frailties and you are no exception.  Smile, sisters.

©Carol Desjarlais 9.8.22This two-page spread is actually three pages.  I folded the middle page and made it into a triangle.  The whole project is done with collage and a stencil of a woman's face.