“Life is a process of becoming. A combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.” ~Anais Nin
I feel the heaviest of bereavement lessening. I am coming to terms that I have lost one of my babies. We live a different life without her. Life no longer includes JanaDee. I still suffer great bouts of exhaustion even when I do nothing, I become exhausted. I know it as part of my grief process. I am slowly letting go of my child and I let go of any beliefs or expectations. My grief is my own, not anyone else’s. I have my own ideas about what is the next life, full of bits and pieces I have found that fit my soul.
I sense she is unburdening. As she sheds her woes and cares of the physical world, she is taking on the cloak of spiritual and suffers as she does so. It is why we must send great love for her as she does. I do not know what comes next for her for I did not take my father’s hand when he offered it to me. I had babies to raise and made the decision to come back. But, there I beautiful peace in that first portal. I sense her there.
Under the influence of Capricorn, I settle in and have prepared the last bits needed for our cruise vacation. I can not have a pall hang over me that will influence others. I have to totally let go of everything here at home and simply be on the ship and enjoy it. The calm and quiet of it all will be healing for me.
Capricorn is a time for change. Your intuition will be high but your emotions will be all over the place. Seeds of creativity will begin to show themselves to you and you will be at your most creative today. By doing creative projects, today, will settle your emotions down and you will actually feel some healing has taken place when you are done. Part of today’s healing is for you to learn balance in your life. You will feel restless until you gain some balance.
May we all find peace within the restlessness and find something productive to put it at bay.
No comments:
Post a Comment