It's Risky Getting Old

 

 

The world needs risk takers.

The truth seekers and status quo resisters.

Who ask the questions they really want

To know.  Who confidently pursue what is right

Even when it isn’t popular.

 

No facades.  No half-truths.

No compromises.

 

The life lovers and slow-song-in-the-kitchen dancers.

Who smile at every stranger and wear their hearts

Om their sleeves.  Who uphold authenticity

Time and time again.

 

No distance.  No armor.  No walls.

 

The course changers and map makers.

Who risk it all to follow their hearts and

lead others to new places.  Who steadily

move forward without always naming the

challenges they overcome.

 

No compass.  No safety net.  No way

To know where the road will go.

 

The world needs risk takers.

Like you and me.

 

Who pave the way for others to follow.

Or who tiptoe past their comfort zones

To say yes when they could have said no.

 

Every day. In big and small ways, we all

Wake up and push towards the unknown.

Never rising out of new waters the same

As we were before.

 

-       From Magnolia Art journal, summer 2020

 

Praying For Shirley

 

 

I heard from my childhood friend (our fathers were friends before we were born, and I named my daughter ShirRae after her), and she was having part of her colon taken and spots on her liver removed yesterday.  Cancer.  How can we live 76 years, and in the end, end up with cancer?  Not fair!

So, today has been a blah day for me.  I was restless.    I thought of her all day.  I thought of our sweet memories through the years.  We have remained close, and though we might not talk for months, we begin right in where we left off last visit.  We were stuck at the hip through our teens, ran away with our partners and got married at the same time, remained close through babies and partners divorcing and dying.  So much of her history is my history.  I could give her no greater honor than to name ShirRae for her. 

Why can’t our senior years be more gentle?  Don’t we deserve better?  We have always been good women.  We valiantly stood together through the storms of being ‘fringe’ young women.  Our friendship has stood the test of time even as we grew and walked different paths.  There is something so sweet about such a friend.  I hope she feels my prayers and thoughts as she struggle’s back from the surgery.  I know how strong she is.  I, also, know how much she has missed her soulmate all these decades.  She will simply be herself and say “What Is, Is!”  And she will accept it with all the grace she has accepted so many other hard things. 

 

Seek Us Awe

 

 

I spent a lifetime of doing doing going going and was never satisfied with just What Was.  I always had to be busy.  In fact, being busy kept me healthy.  Now, with years jumping in leaps and bounds, I cannot do, go, like I did when I was young and it is hard to just be.  I feel, sometimes, like my body is betraying me, but what I did was betray my body.  It is paying me back.  Today, there is less of the physical / intellectual sand more of the emotional / spiritual.  Suddenly, I am 76 and I give my head a shake and wonder how I got here.

What I look for now is moments of awe.  I get them through being compassionate, from not staying in the house too many days, from my art, from simply getting out there and meeting people, sand I try to do something, daily, that gives me chance for awe. 

I get moments of awe from seeing kids, grandkids and great grandkids photos shared on line.  One that really piqued my joy and awe was this grad photo taken of my younger granddaughter by my oldest granddaughter. 

I save up moments of awe for days that are not filled with some kind of awe.  This is what keeps me going.

Seek you awe!

©Carol Desjarlais 7.26.23