I have had an unpleasant spring and finally was feeling better. The doctors had gotten my medications for diabetes nearly under control and I had two appointments in Alberta. I left May 31 and ended up having a fourteen hour drive due to several single lane traffic areas due to construction and one two hour wait while they blasted an area and cleared it. I rested that night and early the next morning I got a call that my dear daughter in law had had two brain bleeds. This is my youngest son’s wife and mother to seven grandchildren, the last three triplets. My son called me and I made arrangements to cancel appointments and headed up at noon that next day.
They let her come home the second week. She was very fragile; no loud noises, no bright lights, bed rest. How was that supposed to happen with 7 children in the house? I set up an art lesson for every morning and every afternoon for an hour. As soon as I heard the noise level rising, I called them to the table. We did amazing art projects.
Think one 15-year-old upstairs on his computer, with issues, which kibbitzed a week after I got there (thank god I am a premium member of the Geek Squad and it got fixed for free). One 14-year-old with functional autism, newly moved into womanhood and moody and wants to wear her onesy all day. One amazing young man, 12, who was my right hand and I tried not to over use him. One 10-year-old who has issues and one who is very needy and constantly pets her mother until her mother has to find a way to get a break. (I might add, we had a cold flu go through the whole bunch of kids, one by one and everyone sick wanted to be in mom’s bed with her.) And the triplets who are eight. One elderly dog who has issues getting up and outside. (Oh, and constantly passes gas). Three cats, two in heat. And bunnies… many many bunnies. And a pipe leaked downstairs in my son’s bed so he had to move upstairs to the couch opposite mine. And a edict from the base that requires clean-up of all yards or face being evicted (think 7 bikes, a couple of skateboards, five basketballs, bubblemakers….) Whew!
Mom had set up a fairly strict schedule of meals and snacks, so dishes in the dishwasher happened twice a day. And laundry…and laundry. I simply could do nothing but keep kids entertained, take each o on a date with grandma, buy some flowers and plant some seeds in pots with the girls, keep a pathway in the main areas, keep the livingroom tidy, keep the table clear, make or help my son make meals. I mopped the floors every morning and got breakfast organized by their 8 am “come downstairs” time. All would run smoothly until the pills wore off after dinner. Then mayhem. The time between dinner and bedtime snacks could be hectic.
Each child has their own set personality and was a delight to see. One is at the edge of the family and is seldom seen during the day. I would bump into him at 3:30 when I woke up. He was very respectful and told me he loved me by the third week. One could not be pressured without it being a huge deal so I was pretty careful with her. She is sweet and no problem at all unless you asked her to change her onesy for the day…lol. One finally got into the schedule of emptying garbage every morning which he faithfully did before I left. One, as I said, is totally dependent on skin to skin with her mother and we had to be very careful because “I have high stress anxiety” and she could be crying at the drop of a hat. My son is awesome with her and could talk her down. Then the triplets: one is the one all the others beware of (much like my youngest daughter was) and pretty much all triplets do try not to get under her skin as she can go off on them in a moment. She is good if no one bothers her. As well, she is gregarious and lots of laughter. One is quiet and sweet and could be overlooked in the chaos so I make sure and cuddled her every day at some point. Then there is the family herald who is very big on fairness and time schedules on the different games, and needs to know everything that is going on at all times and pure delight.
I have to tell you, I craved their bedtimes at the end of the day. First the job of triplet toothbrushing, jammies and bed. The little kids are told a story each night by one parent. Then the older ones have their snack, watch an episode of their favorite series “Naruto” which was beyond me to understand. By the time they were watching their movie, I had my jammies on and got stretched out on one of the couches. The olde ones went to bed no problem, then there was a few minutes of time before my son and his wife came down to spend their time together…we had bets if I would be asleep in five minutes. And I was.. and slept through til 5:30 when I would run to timmies, a couple of blocks away, on the base, and was back to do up snack dishes from the night before and mop floors and prep breakfast.
I was tired making the twelve-hour trip home, to say the last. I do not know how this family keeps above water, truly. I had 7 children but I do not remember how I did it. I am not as helpful as I was 8 years ago when the triplets were born. But, I helped bet I could. Instigated the “amnesty-hour” where it was one on one talking and sharing, with each child, even the teenager upstairs, which was usually at 3 am.
Oh how wonderful; it was to reconnect and build on our love for each other. I am completely in awe at my son and his wife who keep that family ship afloat. I left them with my daughter in law in fragile condition. There is still blood on top of her brain, she has constant headache, and she hears a whooshing sound of the blood on top of her brain that they hope the body will absorb, and has stroke-like. But I had to come home,
The Bee Man had his pre-op tests Monday and his surgery is scheduled for the 29th of June, with four-to-six-week recouperation. The July 24th they are going to kill the nerve in his back. Then the middle of Sept, I go to care for my brother for two weeks. The Bee Man will come with me. I want to be able to go over to the island to visit my family in there somewhere. So, my summer is planned so far.
I am grateful to be able to do what I can do. It matters. And, so, I am home until September which is wonderful. I have my gazebo up, my son made me like a small drafting table for out in the gazebo. It fits perfectly and I am going to head out there during this heat wave we have coming. I am grateful to be able to find energy that is needed and art will keep me grounded and be my sanctuary out there.
What do all of you have planned for your summer?
©Carol Desjarlais 6.23.22
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