Sunday, March 17, 2024

Echoism

 


 

Narcissistic personality disorder is named for Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection. Freud used the term to describe persons who were self-absorbed, and psychoanalysts have focused on the narcissist's need to bolster his or her self-esteem through grandiose fantasy, exaggerated ambition, exhibitionism, and feelings of entitlement.”
Donald W. Black  

Echoism is a type of opposite to narcissism but refers to having a fear of being a perfectionist/narcissistic.  An Echoist is a person afraid to burden others, to call attention to themselves, all the while being a caring, over giving and under-receiving person.  They are typically self-effacing and have a set standard for themselves that is higher than a regular person.  Both echoist and narcissist are self-absorbed.  Echoists are vulnerable people who fall victim to the darkness of narcissists.  The titles come from the Greek mythology where Narcissist saw himself in a mirror and became self-absorbed and Echoist comes from a nymph that was condemned to repeat the last words anyone said to her.  She fell in love with Narcissist and could not speak of love for him, because she could only repeat what he said.  Both died unhappily. Don’t be either, and we may recognize some of Echoist in ourselves.  Following are traits we may recognize:

Fear is there when we are confronted with our good talents, and any positive traits.  Fear resides as a trait in our psyche that would deny us space of our own.  It is a fear learned (and conditioned) from early childhood.  Fear/guilt has us bury our real needs for the needs to be loved and accepted.  We become pleasers. We will serve others before serving ourselves. We make sure others have before we do.  It is way better to give than receive and even a compliment is frightening. We diminish those things as well as ourselves.

Echoists tend to be anxious, depressed, exhausted, and blame ourselves for anything that goes wrong.  Echoists fear having anything good happen because they fear something not good will happen.  They have a great deal of empathy for everything and everyone but themselves. 

Echoists live a fear-based life.  Every step in life holds the chance to be a misstep, for them.  The are shortchanging peace, joy, grace in their lives because they are desperately afraid to step out, take chances, show pride, and enjoy life as it comes.

Allow yourself some limelight.  Stop the negative voice in your head that you allow to talk down to you.  Everyone deserves credit, to be someone’s hero, to stop the feelings that you are not worthy.  You are worthy.  You matter.

"People feel closer to us when we allow ourselves to become a gleam in their eyes… Enjoying our moments on the pedestal elevates not only us but also those we love." -Malkin

 

©Carol Desjarlais 3.17.24

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