“Friends show their love in times of trouble, not happiness. – Euripides (Greek Philosopher)
I start out my August Junk Journal with thoughts on Friendships and how they evolve.
We say we are not users, but, in friendships, that is what it is. We need each other for a short time, for a long time, or forever. In a friendship, there is a reason, a sense of tribal groupings and we will have many kinds of groupings and friends those people we choose as friends. It is reciprocal relationships that draw us to people and we all mean, or fulfil something within us and them.
Friendships are a type of tribe that are full of people we choose to have in our life. Some are full of history, some full of experiences, some are simply shared interests, some are you who hear from me and I hear from you, every day. I consider you my friends, my tribe.,
Sometimes, a friendship is broken and is unfixable, their choice or mine. Some are fairweather friends, some have hidden agendas. Some abandoned us. Some we abandon as they suck the life out of us. We eventually learn that truly good friends are those we choose to develop further and further into our lives. Friendships can take a great deal of energy. Some take no energy at all. Friends reflect what is important to us at a time, or for some time, or forever. People come into our lives through serendipitous moments and can have profound effect and affect in our lives. The relationships that become long-faithful are those who are give and take, the same as we give and take to them. They have not ever felt the need to move on nor have you. We grow and learn together, we laugh, we cry, we show concern, and we go to the source if something arises from beyond the friendship. Social needs in human beings are strong and we need each other. Bottom line.
Friendships that are enduring are ones that a bond is developed beyond the casual social contact. Being open is imperative. There needs to be some kind of security in friendships that empower us and them.
I have learned you can get burned by what you thought was a friendship.
As I age, I am being more choosy. I am growing old with my earliest friendships. I have a soul full of good memories with such good friends. I still have many many best friends. As the years go by, I realize that much of my story belongs to such friends, even the ones who hurt me. Some friendships have faded. Some of the memories of them have faded. But it takes but a moment to rekindle that friendship.
Friendships sustain us. It does not mean that we use our friend(s) up and then hang them up to dry. Yes, Friendships is imperative and a longing and a basic human need. It does not mean we need a million, it means we all need at least one good friend. Staying power is optional, rally because we grow and mature and change, and we are still writing our story until our last breath. Those friends that have staying power are the friends we were truly meant to have. And most of those long-lasting friendships, I have discovered are “comfort”. Yes, comfort! For my friends with staying power, I am grateful for you and your part of my story. For my new friends, here I am and when you need me, I am, here.
Can you do a page, or creation, about friendships and what they mean to you?
©Carol Desjarlais 8.1.21
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