Flourish

 

 

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”

― Maya Angelou

How many of us are just coasting through life, simply surviving?  I mean, not in just standing on the street, hands out begging for a morsel of rice; not just surviving in a life-threatening situation; not just standing here with an expiry date stamped on our forehead; not just defying the odds with a miracle comeback.  Not those kinds of surviving. 

I mean, are we just blah blah blah, numbly putting one foot in front of the other, blinds closed, doors closed, self-applied misery, refusing to thrive kind of living.  Not just free from chaos and distress.  Not just free from physical, intellectual, emotional, or spiritual illness. 

Are we enjoying life?  Are we functioning well in our personal and social lives?  Do we feel fulfilled?  Do we feel like we are accomplishing things?  Do we feel like we are doing worthwhile things with ourself?  Are we really connecting with others, with life?  Do we truly have quality of life?  Are we flourishing?  I have been really looking at what makes life feel like we are beyond thriving, but truly flourishing.  What make a Flourishing life? 

How well do we Esteem ourself?  How many times a day do we see self-empowerment quotes, memes, posters, writings?  Have we let that blow through our lives without meaning?  Did we miss that it is one of the most important aspects of living a flourishing life?  It is not just banal blather.  Are we addicted to feeling poorly about ourself?  Have we bought into the aggressive sales pitches and blitzes that say we are too old, too fat, too everything short of being perfect that sells products?  Have we accepted that our flaws, or perceived flaws, are what makes us unique?  Have we come to understand that our Critical Inner Voice (Evil Inner Witch) is an agglomeration of everything negative we felt everyone ever said about us and who is only there to talk us into giving up on flourishing?   

Are we Determined?  Do we refuse negativity and reach towards optimism? Do we refuse negative thoughts and seek positive thoughts?  Do we curb our negative emotions?  Are we resilient?  Do we fail, get up, dust ourselves off and try to do better next time?  Do we forgive ourself and learn from our mistakes or do we sit in a puddle of muddle and almost worship our inability to be as perfect as we think everyone else must be?  Are we critical and judgemental of others and do our best to bring others down to our level, to our miserable level, so we have a group to feel miserable with?  Are we resilient or are we satisfied with mediocracy? 

Do we seek positive relationships?  Do we engage with others so we can enhance each others lives?  Do we seek personal growth or are we satisfied with that place we sit in because we fear risk, we fear failure, we fear, well, everything?  Are we engaging with all of life?  Do we seek personal growth? 

Does our life have meaning?  Are we accomplishing things?  Do we have a purpose?  Do we know what our purpose might be?  Are we in the act of mastering things?  Is there things in our life that give us vitality?

What excuses are we using for not?  Why are we refusing to work at expanding and enhancing areas in our life?  Why are we using past wounds and hurts to deny ourselves new friends, deep relationships, familial relationships?  We are totally in charge.  No one else is in charge of our feelings, our excuses, our reasons for not stepping up to the batter’s box and hitting a home run on who we are, who we are meant to be.  Yes, we are a product of our past experiences, but did we think it was okay to stay there?  No one, absolutely no one lives in the past.  We are in the present living our present in whatever existence we choose to live in.  We are not only hurting ourselves when we refuse to flourish.  We are influencing everyone in our whole life.  We are setting examples.  We are enabling others to either not flourish or empowering others to flourish.  We, settling for mediocracy, encourage others in our life to accept it as well. 

Let us commit to Flourish.  Let us find fun things to do.  Let us find meaningful things to do.  Let us seek fulfilment.  Let us enhance our lives so that there is more purpose and meaning.  Let us live more authentic lives.  Did I say it would be easy when we have built in habits and that life can be sometimes difficult?  No, it can be hard work.  But, if we actively determine to be , not just healthy, wealthy and wise, but to flourish, we can break our habits of accepting less than we deserve. Be tender and compassionate with yourself.  Flourish, sisterfriends!  Flourish!

©Carol Desjarlais 9.21.23

PS. 

It is Sagittarius, turquoise, kind of day!  The UN International Day of Peace!

 

Virgo Kind of Day

 

 

Virgo’s influence will have you feel a bit detached, a bit lonely, a bit isolated even when you have others around you.  There are some things we are powerless to deal with.  We can feel burdened by some things but we have to love what and whom and where we can and let some things go by the way.

Carry Selenite around with you today.  The high vibrations of Selenite can lighten your load.  For those who are aware of past lives, be aware, you will have flashes today.  You are being healed by the ancestors.

Today, work on being practical and logical.  It is new moon and you need to try to stop overthinking things.  Go outside as much as you can today and find some creative things you can do using things of Mother Nature.  Mother Nature will ground you, soothe you, bring you back into the Present and the presence of great love.  This is a new moon on the rise and a time for new beginnings.  Organize what you can, prepare for winter.  Tie up some loose ends.  Stay occupied. 

You may have lost faith in some human kind.  Stay clear about who, what, where, and when, oh, yes, and why.  Keep it specific and where it belongs.  Do not project.  Empaths need to keep themselves in check today.  There is a time and a place and maybe Creator is not finished with some yet, of course.  Don’t get in the way.  Keep your emotional boundaries in check.  We are sensitive today and things can get complicated.  Stay tender but go out and away from the hustle and bustle, again, and go out into Nature.  Tonight, the Northern Lights ought to be fantastic again, for those in the western Hemisphere.  Make note to get up in the middle of the night and see if you get blessed by the ancestors, if you can. 

©Carol Desjarlais 9.19.23

 unfinished virgo art.

Oh, Look, Mom, Grandma Is Mad Cleaning

 

 

By the end of day, you are done.  You have pasted a smile on your face all day, chit chatted about things that wore you down, dealt with frustrating things, and…you are just done.  You are crabby by the time evening comes and you bang the pots and pans and make dinner, stack the dishwasher, wash the pots and pans, wiped off counters and table and swept or mopped the floor.  You are done and the last thing you want to do is deal with more people…even your people.  Your day was filled with stuff that is physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritually draining.  Yes!  You are DONE!  Now you have to deal with who you must spend the evening with, even though you love them, you do not want to People any more.  How do we be more loving to those who deserve our love after you have hit the wall?

See, we think these people who we love will forgive us our bad moods, will know that we are done, and not demand anything more of us.  Doesn’t happen.  Seems that the more you are cranky, the crankier they get.  We forget family niceties.  We forget the unspoken rule that family needs the most tender loving care, even when we feel least like doing it. 

It is hard to shut off the emotional draining of the day.  Our feet hurt.  Our brain hurts.  We seem to just wait for the spark to set us off and our Ego/Evil Inner Witch is raring for an outlet.  We are not too tired to react.  It is at that critical moment that we have to rise above our weakened defenses and find ways to de-escalate, fast!  Excuse yourself for a few minutes, go to your bedroom, take some deep breaths, count to ten, yell into a pillow, think calm thoughts.  Take a comment to realize you are responsible for your bad mood.  You are responsible for your anxiety and your ire.  These people, here, in your now, are not.  They do not deserve to pay for everyone else’s demands of you.  Change your clothes.  Brush your hair.  Have a quick shower.  Realize that these people are the ones who are your tribe, your very important people, the ones who deserve, not just your time and effort of the day, but deserve your love.  They, too, have had “a day”. 

I used to work off my angst.  I could clean the house in half an hour, from top to bottom, doing, as my granddaughter said, and not too long ago, ‘Oh, look mom, Grandma is ‘mad-cleaning’.   Someone, other than my people, had set me off, and I was working it out.  Literally… the moment she said that, and I heard it, we laughed and laughed and soon all was forgotten because I loved these people so much.  We were all aware that that is how I dealt with stress and frustrations.  I cannot do that any more.   

Sometimes, at the end of a day or two or three, you need to fake it til you make it just a little bit longer.  If you walk into a room full of black and bluster, you will be met by black and bluster.  These are the moments to practice gratitude, to be kind, to give to others what you so desperately need at the moment.  You can deal with your own issues after a bit when your last nerve stops tingling.   Remember that you really do love these people you are ‘stuck’ with at the end of the day.  Though they can set your teeth on edge, remember, they deserve your kindest words.  Believe me, if even something happened to even one of them, you’d be lost.  They are not your sounding boards. They are the braces for your back.

Sometimes we expect too much of our people.  We know it cannot be all love and joy and happy and easy.  WE are not all love and joy and happy and easy.  You do not mean to bicker.  You do not mean to roll your eyes.  You do not mean to sigh like they are the worst in the world, you do not mean to be muttering under your breath, you do not mean to be bitter and snarling, hiss and spit… but sometimes we do and are and it is not their fault.  When we have been, it does not feel good.  That bed you were dying to hit hours ago does not fit easily when you are ashamed of yourself, angry, or bitter.  We know we should have been nicer.  We know we need to do something to get them to forgive us, and fast.  If you are sleeping in an angry bed, so will they be.  Best we tuck in our today and try treating them in a way that they will be glad to see you on the morrow. 

Be mindful that everyone has a day’s story to tell.  Sit down and let them tell you theirs.  Most likely, by the time they have shared a bit, the laughter will come.  You really do love these people of yours.  They are the ones that matter.  Every moment with them is a memory.  Realize that you, being overwhelmed, need to just breathe.  Check the tenseness of your body.  Pop some popcorn, make yourself a chai tea, bring in drinks for the rest of your people and realize that this is the last service of the day that means the most to your whole world.  Have a challenge, for just yourself or for your people.  See how many chews it takes to swallow a mouthful of popped popcorn.  Take it further if you have to, until you are all laughing.  Toss popcorn to see if you can get it in the mouth of one of your people.  You will suddenly feel the day drain off you.  We can all be such silly things and sometimes the silliest of things can be the release of the day’s tensions.  Popcorn can cure so many family ailments.  It did with all my children who knew when to ‘clear out’.

Remember to own your own feelings.  Remember to be angry at the people, places, things you mean to be angry about.  Warn your people.  ‘I have had a rough day….”  Love those that deserve it most.  Your People.   

©Carol Desjarlais 9.18.23