“We say what we mean and we mean what we say.” – Dr. Seuss
I am one who speaks my truth. I do not seem to think things through as to how they might be taken, how they might be construed, and how it may become gossip fodder.
I was involved in an incident where I told my truth to someone, to ask forgiveness for my misunderstanding. In the telling, I had told where I had gotten information (misinformation) that led me to need to tell my truth to the first. I needed to clear the air. I had told where the misinformation came from, in the first place. It included another lifelong friend that had, without knowing of the original truth, confirmed the misinformation, with no fault to her. The person I confessed too, twisted the incident and words and created great discordance with the third. I was attacked, verbally, by the third person because of gossip. It ended a lifelong friendship. Actually, the friendship had had another dent in it. She had believed someone else’s gossip about me and confronted me as if it were true, but closed the door, for a time, to our friendship. I was so hurt that I did not defend myself. I had not tried to defend myself in this last gossip event. Why do people choose to believe gossip as truth? I cannot figure out why I was not asked about it all before judgement was made. I cannot wrap my head around it. I have, after a few years, spoken to the third and said we needed mediation because she had not been told the whole truth. I have, since, decided to let it go. I opened the door for mediation, and now I will simply leave the ball in her court. I cannot say that I wish we could clear the air, still.
This all comes down to integrity. I am, pretty much, an open book. I am not unaware that things can be taken in a negative way. I have been misunderstood before. And, because of that, I really try to have integrity and be credible with what I speak of. I am a practice what I preach type person, as well. If I say something is my truth, it, also, I am aware, that it is my truth at the moment and I might become aware and change what I have said is my truth. I think truth can be a learning thing. The more experiences we have, the more our truths become clearer. I will admit when I am wrong. I will apologize, even if I did not have to.
I am a promise-keeper. If I say I will do something, I will. I have learned, as well, to be careful with what I promise to do. I am a really transparent person. I spent my whole career, looking at the WHY of things, rather than the what. I have to keep in mind that I have to consider the certainty of truth of things. I have, and continue to have, the awareness of what I am going to say is necessary to be said. And, I really try to make sure that what I have to say is kind, purposeful, and authentic. Lesson learned: no need to defend self, one’s truths, one soul-speak. How it is received, is received as such. I no longer just accept that people are honest, authentic, compassionate. Sometimes, they are not.
©Carol Desjarlais 09.07.26
I ache to hear that. I have had that happen to me but between my mother and my half sister. Both turned their backs on me as my mother was dying in hospital. It hurts so bad, but after a few phone calls to try to clear the air, I was told I was not loved, had never been loved, and she wants nothing to do with me. I acknowledge that is her wish, made it clear it was not my wish. and then let it go.
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