Confucius once said “We all have two lives, the second one starts when you realise you only have one”.
We own things we do not usually think of when we are asked what we own. Our lives are rich, are poor, are light, are dark. You cannot imagine my story. I cannot imagine yours. My history is not ever just like yours. Yes, there are similarities, but the hues and tones and sounds and feels are uniquely mine. Wisps of joy and sadness's, tenacities and traumas, are mine; yours are yours. I cannot judge your life story. You cannot judge mine, because we can never know. You think you know me. I think I know you. But we cannot imagine. My life story is enough for two lifetimes.
I know that our history’s are full of chapters after chapters. We were born, we were children., we were teens, we were adults, we were empty-nesters, we were/are crones. We changed. We showed great weaknesses and strengths. Sometimes we have felt that we have lived enough. We have lacked wisdom; we have gained wisdom. We have reinvented ourselves over and over, due to circumstances, incidents, losses, gains. This is not all one straight line. How many times have we had to change? How often do we given free rein to life and simply trusted it?
It is a given that we are not stagnant beings. It is also a given, that we will transform, again and again. We are called to step out of our usual way of being, again and again. We obtain, from all our experiences, newer experiences, newer perspectives, newer ways of being.
In our stories, we have things we are passionate about. Things we want, things we need, and things we truly cannot live without. In our environment, we are nurtured by things we are interested in and our interests change, as well. We deepen our sense of Self. Our culture deepens, changes. Our identity within culture changes.
We have myriads of relationships and kinds of relationships. When we are met with new people, they change us. We learn how to deepen relationships. We learn what relationships do not fit our soul. We learn what relationships are important to us. The landscape of our soul changes minute by minute, depending who, what, how, when we have our life enriched by others. Mostly, we learn more about ourselves through our relationships.
We never stop learning. Our intelligence grows are life offers us new people, landscapes, things to learn about. We gather new skills. We are reborn, again and again, through things we learn about. We are all lifelong learners.
We do not disintegrate our past Self; we add to it. We are a product of our physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual experiences. Our physical attributes change with age. We accept or we obsess about such changes. Our intellect changes. Our emotional changes are huge. We are, as it says, a person seeing glass half empty or half full. The half-full people experience the best and most changes. This moment we are one person; the next moment we are changed. How many moments have we had in our lives? We are all in the process of becoming.
As I age, I can go back and review my life. I have time for such. I am whittling down all the areas of my life. I am choosing what is best for me right now. I have not lost anything. I have made conscious decisions and choices that make my story brilliant, vibrant, and worth being here for. How about you?
©Carol Desjarlais 03.07.26
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