See, I think Life is a Transitory Journey. I think we are “on our way” to what is next. The only baggage we came with, here to this life, is what we are meant to build on, to take with us to the next part of our soul’s journey. We all have an expiration date. We cannot escape that. Our body is only a shell to contain those things beyond worldly goods. We are collectors of spiritual aspects of our physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual during this part of our soul’s journey. What have I collected?
My body carries scars of this part of the journey. Decisions I made, or were made for me, shows up as inscribed parts of my journey that took courage to recover from. I have what I call “my crown and anchor” carved on my body and those scars mean something very worldly but the impact of those scars I carry in my mind, heart and soul. Each scar changed me, took something huge to recover from. But, any physical baggage we will carry with us, in that energy that leaves this shell, is what is the crux of why we here at all, as physical beings; why we went through physical things in this life; why we should concentrate on what we have done with this physical body to help make this journey worthwhile. I have done good in many many ways. Of course, I have let the world of my body control my worldly self. I surrender to my inefficiencies and have made life harder for others with my bodily decisions. But I have used my hands, my feet, comfort, caress, coax and try to control self, or not. I have many physical frailties. I try hard to change my weaknesses and every night I ask for forgiveness for those frailties and ask for courage to change, every morning. I do not deny that I spend a great much time trying to make up for my many frailties.
My mind has collected many good thoughts and wisdom. I have tried t extinguish negative thoughts (believe me, I have many things to extinguish). I do a great deal of self-talk trying to make sure I do not mire down in negative thinking. I refuse to lie in bed, in the dark, when my mind would love to dwell on negativity. I get up and do something to change the pull into negative thinking. I listen to podcasts that inspire. I seek writings that inspire. I spend time thinking on positive things. Even this very blog is coming from a place that I am thinking about.
My heart has collected such precious memories of emotional strengths...and, yes, sadnesses, too. Insecurities that evolve from abandonment and a sense of postnatal rejection. I can see that every poor decision of mine came from a place of fear. I worked all last year, with the word FEAR. It took courage to make decisions that could make someone not like me, not love me, reject me, abandon me. I gathered up my timid courage and said what needed to be said, did what needed to be done, and with each time I dared to say or do my truth, I felt empowerment…tiny little bits of self-esteem grew as I tried to do what is right for I knew I would have to live with the consequences, abandonment or not. What is in my heart, I will carry forth to the next part of my journey down here and over there, somewhere.
My spirit has great moments of spiritual knowledge. From somewhere I cannot define other than saying it was soul, I knew things I was never taught. I knew to do things and did them without thought or intention. It could be called inspiration. It could be called lots of words, but it came from somewhere within, not without, within. I have seen things you cannot imagine, never mind that I could not.
Christianity says that Creator created us in his image. Are we meant to stand in for his presence? That is huge. Have I stood as a satisfactory replacement for Creator down here on earth? See, we might have been focusing on worldly things rather than on the things we should be carrying with us into the next part of the journey. That’s deep. That is also a huge responsibility. What have really done, of any good, in this world? What am I carrying forward? Of what “substance” am I? I do believe there is a little bit of God/Goddesses in us. Am I remembering to collect things that come of that? I have work to do, for sure. I have better stuff to collect on this part of my journey.
©Carol Desjarlais 1.24.25
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