Teachings of Cedar During Snow/Hunger Moon

 

 

 

There are many good things I learned in my twenty-three years living in the North in my beloved isolated and semi-isolated communities.  The Elders were so lovely and so willing to teach me.   Then, there was my brother, who saved the life of both me and my youngest son.  We are forever linked and he will be forever missed.  Cedar used to be a woman and as long as there is cedar nearby, we will never be alone.  This is what I know, as much as I was taught:

Cedar is strong medicine.  Its main medicine is to protect and promote peace while clarifying messages from one’s Inner soul. 

I have been drying cedar branches, so I can pulverize them into powder.  The old people, and those who live in the far north, dry them on drying racks, or on an old wood stove. 

Powdered cedar is used in sweats, in smudge bowls, and is wonderful medicine as a poultice.  When boiled, the steam and tea is good for the lungs.  Also, tea is often made of cedar fronds for during sweats.

In the olden days, and some medicine people still do this, cedar is burned morning and again at night to clear the air from anything not good.  It was said that it stopped Tuberculosis that comes from being shut in four walls. 

If someone was doing ceremony or recommitting to the Good Red Road, powdered cedar was put in the moccasins so that one would walk the right walk and will walk in good ways. 

Anything used to gather food was washed with cedar tea so that nothing bad could be stuck in the gathering nets and baskets, etc.

Any containers were washed in tea because things get caught in them.  If you gossip or have felt jealousy, those thigs go find a container to hide in.  Containers of any kind are and were sacred and much needed to make life easier but if you gossip around them or think negative thoughts, those thoughts will go there to hide.  It can bring you much negative situations if you do not cleanse any containers. 

Cedar sap is powerful.  If we are unclean, negative, not in a spiritual sensibility, an unbeliever, then cedar sap can make one very ill.  But, if you believe in the medicine of the cedar, drinking a tea made from the fronds, it will find and fill unhealed spaces in you and allow for healing.  This must only be done on a full moon and not often. 

Invite cedar into your home.  Decorate with it.  Hang it outside over your doorway to keep negativity out.  Cedar is a purifier.  Smudge it often so it does not starve.

And so, again, I tie bundles of cedar branches into the shape of a woman.  She will reside here until she dries and then I, again, will make medicine of her.  Until I am able to attend a sweat, and drink the cedar medicine, I will have to make medicinal tea for myself. 

 

©Carol Desjarlais 3.3.21

 

Letter to my Inner Critic

 

 

 

***Art Journal , two-page Spread

 Letter to my Inner Critic  by Jo Hargreves

 Dear Inner Critic.

You have been in post for many years now. You are a relentless worker, a loud voice and quite the constant in my life. You have a tendency to steal my joy and distort my perspective on a whole range of things, mostly myself.

You make me feel tired and awkward and a bit less brave; your voice makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin and when I listen to you I live in a state of anxious voyeurism in which I watch myself being watched. I second-guess myself, I people please and play out conversations and situations in my head over and over with you as the critical and sneering narrator. You are a relentless judge, a mocker-harsh, insensitive.

I am writing to tell you that I will be reducing your working hours considerably until you are no longer in post. I am under no illusion that you will go quietly, you have been in post nearly a lifetime, however as I fill my head and my heart with more truth I don’t think I will be able to hear you so loudly.

Remember the time I really wanted to dance at the wedding? The music played and for a moment I felt a joyful urge to join in but you insisted I would look ridiculous and suddenly I felt huge and cumbersome and like I wouldn’t know how to use my arms and legs if I tried. I listened to you, and I sat back down, smiling and nodding, politely declining any invitations ‘Thanks so much, I will dance in a minute, I just love watching from the sidelines.’ You are always reminding me to keep in the sidelines.

Remember the time I wanted to sing in the school play? The teacher asked for all who could sing to stand up, I so wanted to stand up, I so wanted to sing but you told me it was conceited, prideful, it was brash and nobody likes a brash girl ‘stay sat down’, so I did.

You said that nobody likes loud and brash; tame yourself-nobody likes strong and willful, especially the boys.

The boys; remember when they would throw the girls school bags and project folders on the highest shelf or in the dirtiest bin and we were all meant to find it hilarious as we slipped into our damsel in distress uniforms? Then they would go about retrieving and rescuing whilst we were expected to giggle and marvel at their strength, except I didn’t find it funny. I felt rage at this ridiculous rigmarole that I found myself in, you told me to laugh along, to keep the natural order of things and to keep the peace. Dumb it down brash girl, can’t you see you how opinionated you are, opinions don’t win friends. Don’t Be an irritant, get smaller, get quieter, be just the right amount of invisable and complient if you want to get by, the world does not accept girls like you, laugh along as the boys dip their toes in the patriarchal waters.

I have listened to you too much. You have lied and distorted the truth day in and day out for years and I am done with that now. I no longer want to dumb down or dim down or shut up or shut down. I don’t want to smile and nod and stay silent so that I don’t disturb the peace or the ‘natural order of things’. I feel less need for the approval now, less of an inner desire to be accepted and adored and more comfortable with what it is that I have to offer the World, me, just as I am. You told me that if I didn’t toe the party line or fall into line or if I ever crossed the line that I would be rejected, you told me that I needed to please people and compromise myself, my thoughts, my convictions in order to fit in, you lied. No matter. I have heard from the one who is truth himself, he has spoken words of love and affirmation over me. He is a gentleman, and not a man that he should lie, His voice brings me peace.

For every time you tell me to shut up he tells me to speak up, when you say dim down, He says shine. When you speak soul-crushing words that lead me to feel aggressively uncomfortable in my own skin He reminds me that this very skin is covered in His fingerprints. When you incite me to wage war against myself, every time you cheerlead me to over eat or under eat, to over spend and embrace excess and fear scarcity he leads me to a place of peace. To clear, still waters, I have everything I need.

Dear inner critic, please begin to clear your desk and pack your things.

I am choosing to listen to the voice of truth, the lover of my soul the one who calls me beloved, and every time I do your voice is getting quieter, your tyrannical grip on me is getting looser and your services are rendered increasingly useless.

©Jo Hargreves

 

Natal Moon Phases

 

 

 

Did you know that it is not just the Full Moon that affects us and that we have paid little attention to all the phases?  I wondered what phase of the moon I was born under. One’s personality is connected to the birth phase.  One’s moods change the most during the birth phases.  Happens, I was born under the First Quarter Moon. 

I am both light and dark and influenced by both sides of the moon, equally.  I need growth but restraint, goodness, isn’t that the truth.  I am capable but need motivation. 

People born under this moon phases know they are the protagonist of their own story.  We love challenges and rise to the occasion, most times.  We preform best under pressure.  (um… ‘mad-cleaning’, as my granddaughter calls it.) We are lifelong achievers and lifelong learners.  Trying to avoid drama is huge for us and have needed to leave things alone rather than muddy the waters with trying to ‘fix’ things.  One of our main goals is to learn patience.  I have gotten better and better at this until covid hit and now I realize, I need more of it.

 

If you are interested, here is a resource:

https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/moon-phase-birthday-emotions-personality

©Carol Desjarlais 1.3.21