Pollyanna’s Rose-colored Glass People
Do you feel like syrupy people are not really comfortable to be around? They are toxic in our societies because they are Great Pretenders. They deny reality. Life is full of positives and negatives. To deny their own frailties at the cost of denying ours. Compassion is lost. Things will not ALWAYS be alright. Sometimes we DO have worries. By looking, always on the BRIGHT SIDE, we deny that there are shadows. Sometimes REASON cannot be known. Sometimes it could NOT be worse. How disappointed Pollyannas must be, over and over, as reality slips in. Yes, Negative Ninnies can be as annoying and hard to be around. Somewhere in the middle of both is reality. We are not perfect, living perfect lives. We are vulnerable to nature, for instance, and sometimes there are floods, and fires, as winds, and disasters both great and small. We are vulnerable to negative experiences and to deny this is to live in a fairyland. How do Pollyannas deal with real problems when they come? Do they have skills to deal with negative experiences? How are we to handle problems if one group of people never share ways to recover?
All emotions are gifts. We were given these gifts of feelings as tools for our human states of being. Feelings are signals that come as ways of change, as points of personal growth, as points of attention needed. If we deny any of our gifts, we are not truly living. Emotions realized, and truly expressed, give us a richer life, and if not expressed, will be harder and harder to deal with as we do not develop personal skills for dealing with life as it is. To, constantly deny real feelings, is to live an unfulfilled life and keeps us from sharing, connecting and showing compassion. It is downright dangerous. Emotions can build up until a serious emotional crash. It is self-imposed armor to pretend life is absolutely perfect and others should feel that fairytale as well. It becomes isolating.
Be present. Show your courage. Be compassionate through identifying with those who are having a difficult emotional time. Yes, of course, we all feel the range of emotions we were gifted with. Yes, it is good to use affirmations as a way to cope with difficult times and the emotions that ride with them. Sharing real feelings is a way that human beings get through tough times and a way to stay mentally healthy. I have a sense that denial of negatives keeps us from being that good, heathy, person who can reach out to others because they can relate to other’s emotional suffering. What good would we be to the world if we do not honor all our feelings and share them so that we remain of service to all?
©Carol Desjarlais
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