“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.” - Franklin D. Roosevelt, inaugural address
If you remember, I dedicated a whole year to deal with Fear in my life. I found things I feared, that I had not admitted, that I had been unaware of, and recognized that I let fear control everything I was and did and thought, and created. Once I began to focus on what I was I feared: physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually, those spaces I wasted energy on, began to extinguish.
Of course, there were things that I feared, that was healthy. Unnecessary or illogical fear still tries to find its place within, even yet, but I more able to quell it. I am more aware of it when it is rising. I look at it, and make a decision if it is truly something to still fear, or that it is situational fear.
A situational fear of mine is my fear of bears and being alone in an area that is bear country. Some fears are conditional dears. We are taught to fear certain things or events, etc. What about inherited fears? Studies on mice have shown there can be inherited fears…even if the mouse pups were immediately taken from original parent and raised by foster mouse parents. Memorized fears originate in the amygdala. Studies are being done on this, to date and will continue. There is belief that it may help with PTSD. I know that facing my fears and fears that were deeply buried, I understand myself better and am eliminating fears that have no logical reasons.
An obvious trigger belies where work needs to be done. Exposure to that which triggers can help eliminate such fears. At onset of the fear (physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually) one can work on finding a sense of calm, peace, tranquility and a sense of acknowledging the fear and seeing if it is rational. We can retrain our brain to eliminate that kind of fear. I used to be afraid of snakes. I met another who had an irrational fear of snakes. Garter snakes are nothing to be afraid of. His fear of snakes made me see how irrational that fear was. We do not live where deadly snakes are. But I visited other countries where dangerous snakes were. I had extinguished the irrational fear and replaced it with a carefulness when where there were snakes to fear. There are many things we should fear. I was conditioned to be afraid of walking out after dark. I had to learn the difference between being irrationally afraid and become carefully aware. I could have been afraid of men. I learned what kind of senses involved in being around someone who was not safe. I, eventually learned how to recognize men, and people, who I just should not be around. I became more aware of a healthy inner voice, and sixth sense. I learned to listen top my intuition that I had worked hard on.
A few weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to be around the monster of my childhood. I found a way to gather up my courage, and respond, superficially, I might add, to this person. Afterwards, I was sooo proud of myself. I no longer felt any sense of guard. Of course, there was no regard to who that person is today. He held no power over me as an elder, an adult, and one who survived in spite of him. I marveled, afterwards, how I could respond in a dignified and graceful way. I allowed the past to be the past. He is probably not who he was decades ago. And, I am not that child.
Of course, I uncover fears again and again. I have learned to combat those that had no basis. I refuse to live in fear…any fear. It takes up energy and reduces happiness, adventure, joy, and peace of mind. If we decide to see problems that keep us in doubt and fear, we have missed an enhanced life. We are not victims. I chose to not be one.
©Carol Desjarlais 9.19.25
